Wednesday, May 27, 2009 @23:05
i've been suffering from nose blockage ever since i was a kid.. all along, i've been told that i have sinus.. during normal times, only one side of my nose can breathe.. almost everyday, or when it's dusty, or when i sleep in the air-con room, i'll keep sneezing.. and both sides of my nose can't breathe..
recently, it's becoming worse.. same thing happens everyday.. i feel very terrible.. when i can only breathe using my mouth..
last week, i went Mount E to see the specialist.. the doctor says it's very bad.. the airway in my nose is very narrow and it's very bad.. i have to get it treated..
i didn't know that different types of food will affect my nose.. chocolates, ice-cream, milk, peanuts, alcohol.. things that i love to eat makes my nose worse.. and i've been eating them for the past 20 years??
the doctor says that mine is not sinus.. it's some allergic thing which i can't remember what he says.. lol
the consultation on that day cost SGD$ 100.00. and i'm going to book an appointment to get my nose treated.. it's called radiofrequency.. and guess how much it costs?? SGD$ 2,000.00.. cause my mum works there, there's a discount.. and it's SGD$ 1,400.00.. it's not cheap man.. haiz..
i don't know if it helps, but i hope it does.. cause this is really making me very terrible...
Monday, May 25, 2009 @23:05
was feeling really down last night that i just cried myself to sleep.. lots of thoughts went through my mind and i just couldn't help it..
i want to be like other kids.. they have their own house, own room, living with their parents and siblings.. all these while, i never have this..
since young, i've been wanting my own room.. i remember i've always wanted a double-storey bed (or so i called it).. i sleep the higher one, and my bro the lower one.. but i know if i really had it, i would end up sleeping on the lower one.. "gals do not climb" are what parents will say.. but there isn't this chance.. and we grow up.. we no longer sleep together..
so i always dreamt of how i wanted to decorate my own room.. those low bed, with a study table, furry carpet where i can lie, a tv console, cupboards.. and i want to decorate those wall.. self design.. but these never happen either..
i'm watching a hong kong drama recently.. about those family matters, and i am quite certain that there are families in this world who are like that.. backstabbing each other for their own sake, and also sticking by one another in bad times.. there are 6 siblings in this show, and all of them really care about each other alot.. they tell each other everything and they can talk about anything under the sun.. then i think about myself.. i've not done this before..
whenever i encounter anything, be it happy or sad, i feel that i only keep it to myself.. i've always wanted to express myself, to tell people my feelings, but i just find it hard to open my mouth to talk.. i may appear loud, but deep inside me, there are many things that have been piling up slowly, slowly.. i'm afraid that one day, i might just collapse.. that i can't take it anymore..
when i did something wrong and i want to apologise, i don't know why i wouldn't be able to say sorry..
when i want something, i don't why i can't just admit that i want it..
when i care about people, i don't know why i have to be so hard-hearted and can't tell them how much i love them..
people always say do the things you want to do else you will regret it when it's too late.. but i just can't bring myself to do it..
these days, i just get upset over the slightest thing.. it's not what i want.. it hurts to be feeling this way.. i want to be happy.. i want to be happy.. i really want to be happy.....
Monday, May 18, 2009 @00:38
it's been real long since i last updated my blog.. some might have even stopped visiting my blog.. but who cares...
it's been a busy couple of months for me.. no time to surf net in office, no com at home, hence the lack of entries..
things have turned different in office.. nope.. no promotions, nor increase in salary.. but more work and more work and more work.. in view of current market conditions, how can my office be doing well? so why am i getting busier? people leaving, no increase in head count.. this sucks.. i want a new job.. but who wants to hire people right now? retrenchment, pay cuts.. sianzzz...
things ain't going my way right now.. i don't know why.. how to be happy with what you have? i want to be happy...