mylife

I've Moved!

2010-01-15T00:22:00.004+08:00

dear all.. i've created a new blog.. kindly relink me on the following address ya! =)

http://memories-album.blogspot.com/

Moved

2010-01-06T16:02:00.003+08:00

i've decided to create a new blog for my future posts.. so this shall be the history, and i promise to update frequently.. haha.. but i've yet to think of a url for the new blog so i can't update now.. will let you guys know the address soon!

I WANT and I NEED to slim down...

2009-11-05T16:14:00.003+08:00

for the past few years.. i've been growing and growing.. not vertically but horizontally.. so many clothes i have and i can no longer fit in them.. to make it worse, recently there's this Monopoly Singapore from Mcdonald's.. OMG.. it's a deadly weapon man.. 50k or slim?
i haven't been exercising as well.. went for a run last week, and i can't even last an hour.. this is bad.. real bad..
i think i need to go London Weight Management.. or Mary Chia.. or any slimming centres.. i want to be slim man..

Fun Weeks~

2009-11-03T15:50:00.026+08:00

okay, i'm back blogging! like finally..
trip to Batam is good.. not that fantastic with things to buy, but simply a good place to rest and relax.. i seriously need more travel.. i want to go overseas!!

please bring me overseas again!! i can hear hong kong, australia, thailand.. everywhere's calling me!!

then it's one-day trip to JB! went to Larkin, followed by City Square.. nothing much there as well.. been a long time since i last went there.. nothing much has changed.. only bought few things..

we waited 45 mins for the bus from the bus terminal to Larkin! just spoil my mood lah!

reached there and i was shocked on how Larkin actually looks like.. haha.. wasn't what i had expected..

saw this at Larkin, but doesn't have size and end up buying nothing there..

then it was yana baby's birthday.. it's been real long since i met her lah! supposed to meet her at 1200, then she called me at 1130 and told me that she just woke up! she asked me if i want to meet.. i had no choice, right? things were kinda planned and booked.. haha.. then i told her of course lah! so i asked her what time can she make it.. so we were okay at 1300.. 1315 came and she hasn't reached.. we need to assemble at 1350.. so i called her and she said 1330 she'll reach.. 1345 came but still no sight of her.. -_-'' i panicked lah.. haha.. finally 1350 and we rushed.. this was where i brought her to...

this was our tour guide.. and i must admit, there are many things which i didn't know till he told us (if he's really telling the truth)..

we'll go for this next, okay? date me, date me!!

hope you've enjoyed this short celebration, babe! love you lotzz!! =)

Batam!!

2009-07-23T22:09:00.011+08:00

been damn busy these days that i have no time to blog.. my vaio is resting at home for too long.. i need to exercise it.. but till now, i'm still in office.. =(
in the past, i can surf net from day till night.. now, i don't even have time to check my emails at times.. not to mention facebook-ing or blogging.. so sick and tired of this job.. i know i've been saying since.. last year? and still, here i am, stuck in this company, doing the same old thing (or perhaps more thing), with the same pay, no increment nor bonus.. i've yet to write my resume.. i know.. what a great procrastinator i am.. i seriously need to get my butt down and start writing it.. i'm going nowhere over here.. no life.. i need to scout for jobs.. but first.. i need to get my resume done!!!
i need a break.. i want to go on a hoiday.. no.. i want to go on many holidays!! disneyland.. hiking.. everywhere.. i want to go.. but.. how to? no money.. haiz.. but!! i'm going to somewhere near first.. batam!! on 7th august!! finally!! really looking forward to this trip.. and i hope it will turn out nice.. so excited!! heard there's nothing much in batam.. but who cares.. i just want to leave my work and go enjoy!! batam view beach resort.. it looks nice.. it's voted 6 out of 27 hotels in batam.. so i reckon it should be not bad.. http://www.tripadvisor.com/LocationPhotos-g297717-d447157-Batam_View_Beach_Resort-Batam_Riau.html
wanted to try nirwana resort hotel.. looks much nicer, but it's fully booked and it's more expensive.. http://www-singapore.com/nirwana-resort-hotel/photos.htm
whatever it is, i'm going on a trip and i'm so looking forward to it!! =)

i went double o the week before.. and all the seats were reserved, even when we were there like 10+? we tried to do crazy things.. like taking the "reserved" signs away and sitting down one by one.. but when all of us went to sit, we were asked to move.. irritating! then they ordered many drinks.. few kinds of vodka and mixers, 3 tequila shots and 2 tequila pops for each of us, bacardi.. and yes.. i vomited twice.. lol.. got hangover the next day.. it's a terrible feeling i must say.. but still, i had fun!
i want to go butter factory.. i know there's h1n1, but i think it has died down over there.. i heard they play r&b music all day.. though it's more expensive, i think it'll be more fun! and maybe due to h1n1 happened there before, they will give discounts? lol.. i want to go there!!
okay, okay.. back to work and home sweet home!!

can you tell me why?

2009-06-30T23:07:00.005+08:00

why is it that everytime the same things happen over and over again?
we talk things out,
we promise things,
we do everything we can..
(or perhaps you think i didn't do anything)
we are okay for a moment, but not the next moment..
things are getting more and more out of hand..
we say awful things in a fit of anger..
we shout when we're angry..
we just keep quiet when we're unhappy..
things ain't the same anymore..
how i treat you, you treat me back..
how you treat me, i treat you back..
i don't think things should work this way..

i don't know how long more we can tahan..

Boredom...

2009-06-30T22:29:00.005+08:00

been awhile since i blogged, and i'm feeling bored at home..
it's been almost a month since i had an operation on my nose.. it's getting better though at times one side still gets blocked.. i can still remember what did the doctor did when i went..
my grandma, mum, aunt and cousin were to with me.. but when the doctor asked for me, all of them stayed at the reception to wait for me.. the doctor asked my mum if she wants to stay with me, my mum said, 'eeee, don't want.. i don't dare to see..'
first, the doctor injected anesthetics into my nose and let me rest for awhile.. he then came back and told me that he's going to insert some other injections into my nose.. there'll be 3 things that i'll be experiencing.. firstly, my heart will beat very fast.. and gosh.. it did beat damn fast.. i felt damn uncomfortable, as if i was going to die any moment.. noone was there for me and i felt really helpless.. secondly, the thing will make my mouth numb as well, so for the first hour or so, i can't eat.. thirdly, it's very bitter and i will feel it when i swallow my saliva.. and man, its really very bitter..
the doctor was standing in front of my eyes where i can see exactly what he was doing.. the knives, the needles, everything.. i just hoped that i was sleeping or something..
the whole thing didn't take too long.. less than 20mins, i guess.. and i need to wash my nose with syringe with water and some sodium powdery thing.. it tastes very saltish and the feeling was like when you go swimming and water gets into your nose..
been going back for check-up every week.. and i was there alone, again.. last week and today, i don't know what the doctor did that tears just rolled down my eyes.. it was damn painful..
i don't know if my nose will be well from now on, or will there be any chances of relapse.. all i know is i spent 1.6k.. damn it..

Can I Be HAPPY??

2009-06-13T01:35:00.003+08:00

i received this email and thought that i'd share with you guys cause i think it somehow shows my thoughts..

YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY
Achieving your own happiness is the best measure of how well you are living your life and enjoying your relationships.

Everyone is Different
Happiness in life is like a smorgasbord. If 100 people went to a smorgasbord and each put food on their plate in the quantity and mix that each felt would be most pleasing to him, every plate would be different. Even a husband and wife would go up to the smorgasbord and come back with plates that looked completely different. Happiness is the same way. Everyone requires a particular combination of ingredients to feel the very best about themselves.

Listen to Your Heart
In addition to that; your individual mix is changing continually. If you went to the same smorgasbord every day for a year, you’d probably come back with a different plateful of food each time. Each day, and even each hour can bring a new perspective in defining what it takes to make you happy. Therefore, the only way to judge whether a job, a relationship, or any decision is right for you, it is important that you get in touch with your feelings and listen to your heart.

Be True to Yourself
You are true to yourself only when you follow your inner voice. Ralph Waldo Emerson called this “the still, small voice within." You also only become the very best person you can be when you have the courage and the fortitude to allow your definition of happiness, whatever it may be, to be the guiding light of every part of your life.

There Are No Limits
A very important point on the subject of happiness is whether or not you feel that you "deserve" to be happy. Accept the notion that you deserve all the happiness you can honestly attain through the application of your talents and abilities. The more you like and respect yourself, the more deserving you will feel of the good things in life. And the more deserving you feel, the more likely you will attain and hold on to the happiness you are working toward.

Make Happiness Your Key Measure
Happiness should be the organizing principle of your life. Compare every possible action and decision you make against your standard of happiness to see whether that action would make you happier or unhappier. Soon, you will discover that almost all of the problems in your life come from the choices that you have made, or are currently making that do not contribute to your happiness.

Pay the Price
Needless to say there are countless times when you will have to do the little things that don't make you happy to achieve the larger things that you know will ultimately make you very happy. I call this paying the price of success in advance. You must pay your dues. Sometimes these interim steps don't make you happy directly or immediately, but the happiness you achieve from attaining your goal will be far greater in comparison to the temporary inconveniences and dissatisfactions you have to endure in order to get there.

There are no excuses. You are the master of your future happiness. So be happy, and don’t worry.

is this easy to achieve? why does it seem difficult to me? why can't i be happy? what's wrong with me? why am i feeling the same way most of the time? what decisions should i make in order to be happy?
can someone please enlighten me??

sick, sick, sick...

2009-06-03T23:48:00.002+08:00

FEVER, COUGH, FLU------------- H1N1!!!!!!!!!!!

these are the sickness that i've gotten since saturday.. on saturday, fever was 38.5.. and on sunday, it became 39!! i went to the clinic and below is the conversation between the nurse and i:

nurse: did you make any appointment?
me: nope...
nurse: if never, then you need to wait till around 1pm cause i've many appointments right now..
me: (looking at the clock which shows 11.30 and in my heart thinking.. bloody hell.. still need to wait for so long!!) but ends up saying okay...
nurse: do you have fever?
me: ya..
nurse: (taking the thermometer and measuring my temperature) wah.. 39 degrees.. let me get a mask for you..
me: speechless (but stil puts on the mask)
nurse: (scribbles on a piece of paper and pass it to me) i'll let the doctor know that you're having a high fever and i'll see what she says
me: (looks at the paper with "56" written on it and some illegible handwriting, then turned to look at the queue display outside the doctor's room which read "25"!!)

26 was called, then 27, 28.. i was so thirsty i went to watson's beside it and bought a mineral water (with the mask on).. when i went back to the clinic, the display read 28 still.. but i heard the nurse calling.. amanda, you may go in now!! i guess it has got to be the high fever man.. and the doctor is afraid that i'm going to spread to the rest of her patients.. lol

i can't remember what exactly did the doctor say.. but there were 5/6 kinds of medications for me.. it was hell! esp the cough syrup.. it is the worse type of medication out of so many!! really hate it! even though i still am coughing, but no way am i going to continue drinking the cough syrup..

fever has subsided, flu is as usual since like the day i was born.. and yesterday was my stomach again.. been having the same problem since long time ago.. not sure what it was.. seems like gastric, but i haven't been skipping my meals.. it's just painful and it makes me feel nausea.. (and no, i'm not pregnant, if you're thinking of that) i really need a full body check-up..

i've been home for 4 straight days!! back to work today and work was hell!! so many things to follow-up once i step into office and i didn't even have time to go to the washroom, not to mention have lunch! this is a torture man!!

next sat will be the appointment for my radiofrequency on my nose.. 1pm.. i don't know what is that, and i don't know what will happen to me after that.. i still don't feel scared, yet.. i think i just want to enjoy after that.. lol.. i feel it's been a long time since i went shopping! i want to shop! it's the GSS and there're so many things i want to buy!!!

2009-05-27T23:05:00.003+08:00

i've been suffering from nose blockage ever since i was a kid.. all along, i've been told that i have sinus.. during normal times, only one side of my nose can breathe.. almost everyday, or when it's dusty, or when i sleep in the air-con room, i'll keep sneezing.. and both sides of my nose can't breathe..
recently, it's becoming worse.. same thing happens everyday.. i feel very terrible.. when i can only breathe using my mouth..
last week, i went Mount E to see the specialist.. the doctor says it's very bad.. the airway in my nose is very narrow and it's very bad.. i have to get it treated..
i didn't know that different types of food will affect my nose.. chocolates, ice-cream, milk, peanuts, alcohol.. things that i love to eat makes my nose worse.. and i've been eating them for the past 20 years??
the doctor says that mine is not sinus.. it's some allergic thing which i can't remember what he says.. lol
the consultation on that day cost SGD$ 100.00. and i'm going to book an appointment to get my nose treated.. it's called radiofrequency.. and guess how much it costs?? SGD$ 2,000.00.. cause my mum works there, there's a discount.. and it's SGD$ 1,400.00.. it's not cheap man.. haiz..
i don't know if it helps, but i hope it does.. cause this is really making me very terrible...

insomnia..

2009-05-25T23:05:00.007+08:00

was feeling really down last night that i just cried myself to sleep.. lots of thoughts went through my mind and i just couldn't help it..
i want to be like other kids.. they have their own house, own room, living with their parents and siblings.. all these while, i never have this..
since young, i've been wanting my own room.. i remember i've always wanted a double-storey bed (or so i called it).. i sleep the higher one, and my bro the lower one.. but i know if i really had it, i would end up sleeping on the lower one.. "gals do not climb" are what parents will say.. but there isn't this chance.. and we grow up.. we no longer sleep together..
so i always dreamt of how i wanted to decorate my own room.. those low bed, with a study table, furry carpet where i can lie, a tv console, cupboards.. and i want to decorate those wall.. self design.. but these never happen either..
i'm watching a hong kong drama recently.. about those family matters, and i am quite certain that there are families in this world who are like that.. backstabbing each other for their own sake, and also sticking by one another in bad times.. there are 6 siblings in this show, and all of them really care about each other alot.. they tell each other everything and they can talk about anything under the sun.. then i think about myself.. i've not done this before..
whenever i encounter anything, be it happy or sad, i feel that i only keep it to myself.. i've always wanted to express myself, to tell people my feelings, but i just find it hard to open my mouth to talk.. i may appear loud, but deep inside me, there are many things that have been piling up slowly, slowly.. i'm afraid that one day, i might just collapse.. that i can't take it anymore..
when i did something wrong and i want to apologise, i don't know why i wouldn't be able to say sorry..
when i want something, i don't why i can't just admit that i want it..
when i care about people, i don't know why i have to be so hard-hearted and can't tell them how much i love them..
people always say do the things you want to do else you will regret it when it's too late.. but i just can't bring myself to do it..
these days, i just get upset over the slightest thing.. it's not what i want.. it hurts to be feeling this way.. i want to be happy.. i want to be happy.. i really want to be happy.....

2009-05-18T00:38:00.003+08:00

it's been real long since i last updated my blog.. some might have even stopped visiting my blog.. but who cares...

it's been a busy couple of months for me.. no time to surf net in office, no com at home, hence the lack of entries..

things have turned different in office.. nope.. no promotions, nor increase in salary.. but more work and more work and more work.. in view of current market conditions, how can my office be doing well? so why am i getting busier? people leaving, no increase in head count.. this sucks.. i want a new job.. but who wants to hire people right now? retrenchment, pay cuts.. sianzzz...

things ain't going my way right now.. i don't know why.. how to be happy with what you have? i want to be happy...

I Want To Be Happy

2009-01-25T03:02:00.003+08:00

CNY is just round the corner and I just helped my mum with the housework today.. it's been so busy with the shopping and all.. CNY is not as fun as in the past when I was younger.. all I need was to just buy clothes, eat, and get lots of ang pows.. now, there's work, housework, and lesser ang pows.. haiz..
CNY is a day for reunion.. i wonder when will this day come for me.. things are never and will never be the same again as last time.. how we went out together, travelled together.. everything changed just because of temptations and mindsets.. it's proven that it has caused many of those out there to quarrel, break-up and divorce..
"you better don't follow my footsteps and regret like me now.. people change for you and not you change for them.. don't be on the losing end.."
i want to be a happy -man- and do the things that i like.. i want to be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Netball

2008-12-30T13:28:00.007+08:00

netball last night was great! for the first time, we have enough players to play a full game.. (ain, we'll have more when you come back, okay?) albeit age catching up and stamina gone, we managed to have a superb game.. we sure have lots of fun!

for more pics, please click on 'netball' or go to my facebook..

was sick yesterday, still went to play netball.. now i'm still sick lah!! i need to recover. i want to countdown to 2009! no plans as yet, not sure what i'll do, but i want to countdown! lol

had christmas eve party at home and i played mahjong with my family.. i lost lah.. @#$%^&*
i want to play again to win money..

it's nice to be at home.. even though i don't talk, listening to their conversations makes me happy.. there'll be all sorts of jokes to brighten up my day.. the actions of the little brats.. but sometimes, they're just too noisy and i can't stand it.. my family is big and NOISY.. people who know me will know.. hurhur.. nevertheless, i love them to bits even though i don't show it!

alrightey, back to work... yawnzzz.................

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

2008-12-24T12:06:00.005+08:00

Here's wishing everyone a

and a

with

my wallet............

2008-11-19T17:12:00.002+08:00

there goes my wallet... again...
after my birthday again...
what is this?!?!?!?!?!

My Birthday

2008-11-07T12:15:00.003+08:00

i've a feeling that my birthday this year wouldn't be a pleasant one.. haiz.. why are things happening before my birthday? the feeling sucks..

Pre-Birthday Treats

2008-11-05T16:40:00.007+08:00

sent to my office.. i'm loving it... =)

My Birthday Wish..

2008-10-28T12:57:00.003+08:00

my birthday wish for this year will be to hope that *** *** ****** ******* **.. i'm sorry and i really **** ***..

i can't say it out cause they say that if you say your wish out, it wouldn't come true..

My Grandma

2008-10-23T16:14:00.003+08:00

mum - today grandma do checkup and found out she got 1 artery block, but don't worry, nothing serious.. just on medication..
me - then how? can remove?
mum - what to remove? it's artery block, medicine will make blood thinner.. don't let her worry or agitate, and must regularly take medicine..

Decision!!

2008-10-16T16:07:00.003+08:00

can someone please help me decide?
should i tell my boss that i want to quit already?
i can't stand it anymore and i have the sudden urge to quit!!

Flowers...

2008-10-15T16:41:00.003+08:00

one of my colleagues received flowers today.. someone sent it to office.. so sweet, isn't it?

i really don't want to work anymore.. i dread coming to work every morning.. i always think of taking leave.. but there's no leave for me to clear.. and as i drag my feet to shower, i take my time and end up late for work everyday.. how nice it would be if there's 300days of leave.. argh!!!
i think i want to start my own business.. based on my previous entries, what do you guys think if i help people do photo montage? be it weddings, birthdays, any occasion..can start a website, a blog? anything, isn't it? then i start off by helping friends and family first, before approaching people.. one of the best way of advertising is through word of mouth, right? i didn't let my management teacher down now, though i fail during my 'A's.. hurhur

i'm really bored at work!!!

Women

2008-10-13T17:06:00.003+08:00

true enough that women are the pettiest creature on earth.. we can get annoyed by the slightest little thing.. but we can easily be cheered up, no?
flowers, chocolates, sweet nothings, practically anything, right?
sometimes when we don't seem to be appreciative, it just simply means that we can to catch your attention.. if all else fails, then you must have done something terribly wrong to us!

but of course.. when you didn't make us angry, you can give us surprises too!!

i want someone to appear at my void deck, my office, with surprises.. pretty please.... =)

One More Month...

2008-10-11T00:21:00.004+08:00

one more month to go and it's my birthday..
last year, this time, i've already planned everything.. what are the things to do, whom to invite..
this year, in a month's time.. i don't feel like celebrating.. i don't want anything..

Breakdown..

2008-10-11T00:06:00.007+08:00

i'm so going to breakdown one day.. i just hate myself.. i was in the shower just now and i don't know why i just cried..
why is it that everytime when i want to tell someone things, i just find it so hard to say it out?
why is is that everytime when someone tell me things, i just find it so hard to respond?
why is it that everytime i have things in mind, i just cannot bring myself to say it?
why, why, why?

i really want to pour out all my feelings..
i really want to release everything my heart has been taking all these while....

what happens when someone dear to you is no longer around?
what happens when you family member is no longer around?
what happens when your friend is no longer around?
what happens when your colleague is no longer around?
i think it wouldn't make any difference.. for this person is of no importance...

Scrapblog

2008-10-10T18:16:00.002+08:00

Camy.. this is especially for you and of course those who wants to do as well.. go try it out.. think you'll like it..
http://www.scrapblog.com/

Great Cook

2008-10-09T15:32:00.002+08:00

who says i can't cook??

coolness...

2008-10-07T16:59:00.015+08:00

thanks, camy! i had lots of fun doing this (in office).... wahaha....

okay.. that's all for the time being.. i'm getting bored.. no mood to do.. i need a change of job.. i don't like my job.. i don't like the people.. i don't like my boss.. i don't like everything.. i want to travel.. i want to enjoy life!!!

Loves and Hates

2008-10-03T23:39:00.006+08:00

since i like 11, i shall now list down 11 things which i love, and 11 things which i dislike.. this just goes to show how bored i really am...

i love surprises
i love sunset and sunrise
i love to tann
i love being pampered
i love people to praise me
i love the feeling of beng loved
i love the feeling of being hugged and kissed
i love to play sports
i love to eat things that are crispy
i love chocolates and ice cream
i love freedom

i dislike thinking
i dislike answering questions
i dislike being forced to do things
i dislike being controlled
i dislike being teased
i dislike being left out
i dislike putting on weight
i dislike people making empty promises
i dislike losing
i dislike making conversations
i dislike making decisions

Bored

2008-10-03T20:17:00.002+08:00

i'm bored..
it's boring..

On Randomness..

2008-10-02T12:12:00.003+08:00

i told myself that i want to get married when i'm 25, or after..
i was in the shower the other day, and suddenly, i was just thinking.....

11th November 2011, is a nice date....

then i calculated.. now i'm 22, in 2008, 3 years later, when i'm 25, it'll be in 2011.. that means i can get married on..

11/11/11!!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!!

2008-09-30T15:50:00.003+08:00

Here's wishing all my Muslims friends:

what happened??

2008-09-30T15:48:00.003+08:00

gosh.. i don't know what happened to my blog.. the image is gone.. where did my adidas gals go to?? it just disappeared suddenly.. what happened???

little Jerard...

2008-09-17T22:14:00.003+08:00

well.. i went to visit little jerard that day.. took the last shuttle bus, went to the florist and bought her flowers with essence.. miss tan was shocked when she saw me, cause she didn't expect me to be there..
the baby looks like mr ram, but no. he's not dark.. i know what you guys are thinking.. lol.. quite chubby, with double eye-lid, not much hair.. he's cute lah..
she said that she'll invite us to little jerard's first month.. and she said thanks to those who sent her your regards.. she also asked you guys to give her your email addresses.. i also don't know for what.. maybe to keep in contact or to send us pics.. so, message me to ask for her number ya..

Little Ram and Tan

2008-09-15T17:26:00.003+08:00

"Thank God for baby Jerard Andrei Jonathan has arrived at 2118 on 14th September 2008, Mount Alvernia ward 355, weighing 2.8kg and 46cm long. Do let the rest of the netball gals know. Ms Tan"

aren't you excited and happy for them? baby ram and tan has arrived, a year after their wedding.. thought of visiting them today at the hospital, but people come ditch me last minute lah.. should we go during weekends to their house or should i go alone? erm... i don't know lah..

i feel happy for them.. both are my teachers.. see them getting together, staying together, being together.. haha.. we do gossip about them, when they deny of being together, and people wouldn't be shocked if they got married, cause we knew.. when we attended their wedding, they told us that they want few years of freedom first.. but we were thinking in our hearts that they'll have a baby soon.. and we're so right.. haha.. i want to see the baby.. and i hope to post some pics soon.. wish that the baby will grow up and be a fine youg man... from the name, Jerard, i think it's a guy lah.. like Gerrard.. Ain.. you might consider.. wahaha...

nuMb

2008-09-05T21:02:00.006+08:00

actually i waited the whole day for you to message me to confirm the date with me.. but you messaged and told me you to find my own activities.. great.. i'm not going to set high hopes, nor am i going to make myself get rejected again.. it's enough

Life

2008-08-16T00:12:00.003+08:00

if you're not in the mood or whatsoever, please do not read this post.. well.. i doubt people are still interested to read my blog anyway..

just feeling very down suddenly... things just don't go my way.. work, life, anything.. everything.. i'm seriously looking for a new job.. does anyone have any lobang? it's not as if they ill-treat me.. but i just don't like the feeling.. different clicks of people, different hierarchy.. whatever shit lah.. i don't think i'm suitable for office job.. can't believe i'm stuck here for almost 2 years, including temp period.. i need to find something i have interest in.. what do i like? sports? beach? or should i continue to work here then get my degree at the same time? i'm just so loss!!

when i really need someone to talk to, i realise there's actually noone.. even if there is, i bet i wouldn't talk when i'm with someone.. it's me.. i just find it so hard to talk.. there're so many things that i want to tell people, but when i have the chance to talk, i just shut up.. what the hell is wrong with me?!?!

i just feel so outcasted at times.. work, home, friends.. everywhere... there just seem to have no place for me.. in good times, you're forgotten.. in bad times, you're remembered.. what's this? spare tyre? haiz.. life just isn't going the way it is for me.. it just sux!

Boring Day

2008-07-19T19:16:00.003+08:00

Still at work at this time, on a Saturday... What interesting life do i have huh? Well, not surprising.. My life isn't a least bit interesting at all.. Things happen, things change.. Slowly, gradually... That's why they say, cherish every moment right now, cause when it's gone, it's too late to regret............

Netball

2008-07-04T13:18:00.003+08:00

For the purpose of losing weight and of course, having get-together sessions with long-lost friends, we've came up with a blog for all "netballists" (or you wish to lose weight like me, or you just feel like playing for fun). http://weplaynetball.blogspot.com/. Please feel free to view the blog for more updates. It's new, so abit plain, but we'll work towards it... From time to time, we will update about training sessions and stuff, so gals and guys, please hurry!!!

2008-06-02T15:21:00.001+08:00

when you're feeling down, nothing goes your way...

Fxxx

2008-05-16T16:12:00.001+08:00

I HATE MYSELF

are you THE ONE?

2008-03-15T14:29:00.004+08:00

When a Girl is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.
When a Girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a Girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a Girl answers 'I'm fine' after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.
When a Girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a Girl lays on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a Girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.
When a Girl says 'I love you', she means it.
When a Girl says 'I miss you', no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure u spend it with the right person.

Find a Guy...

Who calls you beautiful, instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy...

Who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you, & how lucky he is to have you..

Fucked Up

2007-11-25T00:57:00.000+08:00

there goes my adidas handbag...
there goes my gucci wallet...
there goes my olympus digital camera...
there goes my samsung mp3 player...
there goes my SGD$ 150 adidas vouchers...
there goes my 30% haagen daz vouchers...
there goes my house keys...
there goes my NRIC...
there goes my EZ link card...
there goes my privelege cards...

whoever the fucker is, i hope you get fucked up!

my 21st...

2007-11-09T01:30:00.000+08:00

yes... it's 2 more days and the big day will arrive... time flies.. 21years in this earth and there are still so many things that i've not done nor tried... life is short, right? but what can we do with the limited resources that we have? not to mention the amount of money needed... people say.. things that can be solved by money are not issues... but do we have the money in the first place? to others, the answer might be yes.. to me.. wel.. i guess it's a "NO".. how good will life be if we can stay home and get income at the same time... *slaps and wake up to reality*

a million thanks to my good friend, Glenn, who made effort in helping me design this invitation card... i really love it!!! =) there are the details of the party at the back of the card, but i don't have a scanner and he didn't send it to me... nevertheless.. i'm sure you guys have received it, so better be there early!!

thinking of what to get for me?? well you can go to the icon on the right "ME!" and scroll down.. those that i've not cancelled are those that i want.. so, please take a look at them and get them for me!! =)

speaking of which.. i don't know why i'm not a bit excited for this upcoming event.. no feeling at all.. maybe just scaredness.. i don't know why.. haiz...

hopes everything turns out well that day.. a million thanks in advance for those who will turn up and of course my mum who pays most of the things, my family who helps in making things go in order.. thanks everyone!!

=(

2007-09-28T20:56:00.000+08:00

F***ED UP!!!

random

2007-09-23T21:37:00.000+08:00

i'm just so happy with my new blogskin... it's just so me.. hahahaahah... any comments from anyone? please tag me, okay? i want to have more comments in my tagboard, please...

okay.. this post will be about our dear friend here.. someone whom "collaborated" with someone and gave us a really good surprise.. we were really touched... =) erm... too bad i didn't bring my digital camera on that day, so needless to say, there ain't any pictures.. the following pictures were taken during our next meetings... let them do the talking....

camy.. where are you??

cikgu... where are you now??

finally...

when gals get together.. we just go crazy...

did i mention we were supposed to go Seoul Garden to eat, but ended up with just the 2of them going and me? Lau Pa Sat, where the both of them just stared at me eating.. haha...

then another meeting with gila tagged along... haa... and our 2 best friends, camy and cikgu, were conned of their money.. wonder if they really went for the treatment.. gosh.. please stay with us next time when we go out, so that they don't dare to go near you.. lol..

okay.. guess that's all for today.. i know i still have lots of pictures, but i'm too lazy.. haa.. will continue again... =)

Out-dated!!

2007-09-08T03:01:00.000+08:00

okay.. these posts were supposed to be posted donkey months back, but the result of being such a busy woman doesn't help at all.. and also.. the poor woman who doeesn't have a laptop nor desktop.. =(

anyhow, let's start with this:

joanne's birthday which was held at.. erm.. the hotel beside DFS, opposite of far east.. can't remember the name of it.. haha.. anyway, it was lunch or hi-tea buffet, and it was good.. the place was nice..

layouts of the table

i was the first few to reach.. food was great. too bad i didn't take pictures of it..

speak to my chopsticks

how can i miss them out, right??

the birthday gal, with the birthday cake

people who graced the occasion

after which, we headed down to Balcony.. it's my first time there and the place wasn't that bad..just that it will be perfect if it's at night.

okay, okay.. don't have to look for a long time.. that's me in the picture.. =)

oh no.. suddenly i feel sleepy.. shall continue tomorrow.. nitezz!!

HELP!!

2007-08-26T23:54:00.000+08:00

does anyone know any loanshark who has cheap rates?? i think i really need one... =(

2007-08-08T18:03:00.000+08:00

with just 2digits in my account, only at the beginning of the month, what am i supposed to do?not to mention shopping... even eat also i'll have problem.. gosh..can i just press the "fast-forward" button and move on to the 26th of the month so that i'll have money? oh no...

well.. not been updating my blog, i know.. been really busy with work and stuff.. with the fact that i don't have a laptop nor desktop..

just came back from thailand.. erm.. not just but still, it's just a term lah.. haa.. it was really helluvafun.. went with my cousin and her husband, my bro and his girlfriend, with raymond... the things are really cheap.. and i just found out that lingerie is cheap there!! Triumph somemore.. stupid.. still i bought quite few things.. the food there is okay.. but what's not good is that the shops close really early.. how to have more fun??

before thailand was an outing with camy!! she surprised us, and boy were we shocked to see her.. we missed her loads.. and now that she went back again, makes it worse..

heard that my graduation ceremony for my diploma will be on 25th this month which will be held at JCU.. not sure about the details yet, but let's say if i can invite people, who wants to grace this occasion with me?? tag me and let me know, okay?

this year's national day will be different.. i wouldn't be squeezing in the crowd, gasping for breath, waiting for the ever-so-long-awaited fireworks to start.. guess what i'm doing?
.
..
...
....
.....
......

tadadada.....

i booked a hotel room at swissotel.. can you believe it? yes.. call me crazy.. haa.. i don't know why i did that.. wanted to cancel the reservation, but monies will still be deducted from my account.. gosh.. so, i've no choice... wonder how it will be like.. read my blog for the updates, ya? hope it wouldn't be that long.. lol...

p.s. when can i ever get my laptop??!!

why??

2007-05-26T19:41:00.001+08:00

4 more days and he'll be back.. 6 more days and i don't have to stay in the office till so late, not even on saturdays.. but.. a mixtue of feelings in me.. happy or unhappy? i don't know... why am i feeling this way? i hope things will turn out good when the time comes...

*prays hard*

2007-05-19T16:50:00.001+08:00

i'm in the office now, on a saturday.. need to clear some stuffs so that when i return on monday, work is not so much.. can you believe i'm going to play netball later from 1800-2000 at KNC? ya.. all thanks to yana cause she asked ain and i to join her friends for a game later.. oh no.. it's been months since i last played, or rather ran.. how can i survive the whole game later?? don't think i'm prepared for it yet.. oh no... after that.. going to watch Chelsea VS Man U later with ain and nasrul.. quite a tough match, i suppose.. hope that chelsea will win though.. cause i'm not really a fan of Man U..

hmmm.. i thin i'm really in need of a laptop.. ased my mum regarding this, and still don't understand why must she discuss with my bro.. it's lie, i'm borrowing money from her, not him.. will pay her back by installments what.. and i already know what i want to get.. why still must ask him leh?? now he as me to wait till end of june when nus has the fair thingy.. gosh.. that's lie so long lah.. might as well wait till my birthday, then i can pay myself.. haiz.. sometimes i just don't understand.. why is it that my bro gets more attention than i do? even when we went to visit my grandpa that day, he blamed me for visiting him after 9days when the accident happened.. and when my bro was there, he complained to him about me.. come on lah.. you're so free to count how many days people never visit you, doesn't mean i'm so free to visit you everyday.. i didn't even know about the incident a few days later.. true enough, it was wrong of me for not calling you and ask how you were.. but i didn't even have time to have my meals during work.. what else do you expect?? forget it lah.. the more i think about it, the more angry i'll get.. all are just biased..

actually i've got lots to blog.. but i can't remember what i want to blog about.. will come again when i've thought about it.. back to work...

quick update

2007-05-12T17:12:00.000+08:00

am at work now.. what a boring saturday.. well.. ever since few of my colleagues went for long study leave, i've been staying back for work almost everyday.. andthem around to crack jokes, it really helps to ease everything.. this will last for a month.. work has been okay so far, just that 24hours a day seems to be not enough.. always seem that things can never be done in a day.. but.. my boss and colleagues are all nice to me.. which i think is a really inportant issue in an office environment.. even though workload's alot, but with them around cracking jokes, hard work does pay off..

furthermore, raymond is not in singapore.. gone to taiwan for cover medic.. will be there for 3weeks.. so far, he's been calling me and messaging me.. well.. i know my bill will be high this month, but it's okay lah.. not everytime.. haha.. mum will nag for sure, but i pay for it.. so at least i wouldn't feel so bad.. i didn't know about the news of the plane crashing into the taiwan camp until he called and told me about it the moment he heard about it.. was so glad that he's safe.. thanks, yana, for telling me too.. don't worry about your bro, okay? i'm sure that he's fine.. and when i reached home yesterday, my family asked about him too.. hee.. i'm sure he's touched.. lol..

yesterday was our 23rd month anniversary.. and guess what? he ordered a package of a boouquet of flowers for me plus famous amos cookies to be sent to my workplace.. so sweet of him.. =) was really surprised and at the same time, touched.. thanks, dear.. really appreciate it..

family has been good.. my grandma had a knee operation few weeks ago.. now, she has to walk with crutches.. had a slight fever yesterday.. really hope that she's okay, and that she'll be able to recover and walk without the help of crutches.. told my mum that i want to get a laptop.. she sounded okay to me, but said she want to discuss with my bro first.. till now also got no news.. haiz.. really hope to get one soon.. and i told her i'll pay her back by installments.. haha..

tomorrow's mothers' day.. later, my mum going to bring my grandma out for dinner.. so, definitely i'll be there.. hurhur.. my bro and i decided to give her red packet.. really have no time to get her a gift.. well.. think even with the money, she also can't bear to spend one loh.. but just give only lah.. no choice.. hee..

peepzz.. i'll be free these 3weeks.. so after reading my blog, and when you feel like going out, please ask me out, okay?? weekdays and weekends!!i'm free!!!

oh well........

2007-04-07T21:31:00.000+08:00

well.. as promised, after a very long time.. part 2 of raymond's birthday..

i purposely took the 'ray pool' picture cause he's short form is 'Ray'.. my first reaction to him was, 'hey.. your pool.. haha..' i was so proud of myself cause i managed to take the picture of the stingray.. and it's so clear.. don't you agree?? haha.. look at all those nice pictures.. gosh.. maybe i can consider becoming a photographer.. (",)

there are so many things that had happened and i can't really remember what(all thanks to the wonderful memory i have).. haha.. and i was supposed to do the following, thanks to camy and ana.. oh well.. why must you guys do this to me?? now i must crack my brain and think.. uuuuurrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh.....

Rules:

Each person who gets tagged needs to write a blog post of their own 6 idiosyncrasies as well as clearly state this rule. After you state your 6 weirdness, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their multiply id (or anything equivalent) at the bottom of your blog. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says "you’re tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog for information as to what it means.

my 6 idiosyncrasies:

when i eat, i'll make sure that at either end of my teeth have the equal share of food.. i.e. if the left side bites 5times, right side will do the same..
when i walk, i'll make sure that both of my feet steps on the same tiles, be it in terms of colour or texture..
late at night when i'm still awake, i'll on the lights and fan in the living room to watch tv.. not scared, but just a habit..
though i want something, i'll pretend that i'm not interested.. call me stubborn if you want..
ice-cream and chocolates are my favorite.. so i can eat these the whole day without any meals..
when i sleep, i need a pillow to lie down, a blanket to cover(even if it's hot), a bolster to hug, a cushion to put my leg, and a piece of tissue for my lousy nose..

now.. the lucky 6 are.. erm.. you guys have tagged all my friends, so what should i do??
erm...

carmen
jo
lee
nimz
qin
zahidah

hehe,, so sorry to you people but i've no choice.. (",)

my school's over!! like finally.. had my last exam last week.. well.. was supposed to be last 2weeks, then i went to the doctor to get an mc.. and you know what.. at first, i was so happy cause i told the gm that i was sick and i'm going to get mc.. he said okay, and i'll just have to take the retest.. after donkey hours, he messaged me, telling me that in order to take the supplementary paper, i need to pay $100.. like wth.. so, ya.. $100 gone.. and the worse thing is.. i don't think i'll ace the paper.. we were told that the paper consists of 20mcqs and choose 4 out of 6 essay questions.. everything in 3hours is like impossible for me lah.. on my exam day, my paper was only choose 5 out of 6 essay questions.. gosh.. i can die loh.. left out 2question.. 25marks gone.. oh no.. how?? now that school's over, i need to plan my future(which till now, i still have no idea what i want to do).. should i continue to study and pursue a degree at james cook university, or should i start to work?? my gm and all my colleagues are persuading me to join them as a perm.. the pay is not bad.. if i work and study at the same time, i know that i'll flunk the papers, cause i wouldn't be in the mood to study.. i really don't know what to do.. any advice, anyone?? please tag me, alright??

it's already april.. i think this year flies quite fast.. my 21st birthday's coming.. yay!! haha.. okay, it's in november, but still.. i'm excited.. or maybe not.. my mum already booked a chalet for me.. the same one as my brother, at tanah merah.. kiasu, right?? but it's because my brother's friend can get it cheaper, and since he's in overseas, it's better to ask him to get it before he left.. actually my dream was to have it at sentosa.. and the dress code will be bikinis for ladies and trunks for gentlemen.. i think it's so cool lah.. but now, it can't come true.. oh well.. i'm afraid to be the host.. i can't talk well, and there'll be different groups of friends and my family there.. how am i going to entertain each and everyone of them?? haiz.. but still.. it has to happen, and also, i hope there'll be like surprises on that day.. *hint hint* haha..must start to plan whom i'll be inviting.. haha.. what to do.. kiasu is in my genes.. hurhur..

raymond was supposed to taiwan for his atec in mid april till early may, but now he's excused.. happy is definitely one thing, but at the same time, i.. i don't know how to explain.. i know i'll definitely miss him if he goes.. also, i hope to use this time to make our relationship stronger.. like the saying, 'absence makes the heart fonder'.. you know what i mean?? so, ya.. these days haven't been good with him.. i don't know why.. i think i'm taking him for granted.. i know it shouldn't be this way.. but.. i don't know.. i don't deny that he's really nice to me, always giving in to me.. oh no.. what should i do?? bao ber.. i still love you..

i'm having my dinner now.. 'subway' prepared by raymond.. it's nice.. but it's such a big portion.. i'm so full now.. gosh.. been sleeping real late these days.. and tomorrow i'm going to the cemetery.. another sleepless night.. okay.. shall stop her.. cause i'm kind of having a mental blog.. haha..

update(1)

2007-02-16T20:20:00.000+08:00

okay, okay.. don't complain that i didn't blog.. i'm here now!! haha.. erm.. i can't remember where did i stop blogging about.. but never mind.. january was camy's birthday.. we had a great time celebrating her birthday, though it wasn't on the actual day.. let the pictures do the talking the talking..

well.. yana and i actually did last minute shopping the day before her actual birthday.. crazy yana(as usual) had this idea of getting her 21 gifts.. she thought it would be cheaper getting 21 small gifts, but actually, i think everything adds up to much more.. but.. we really love her so much that we didn't mind.. see camy.. how sweet we are, right?? haha.. it was her private date with abu at the beach, but we went to be about-half-an-hour-lightbulb, just to surprise her.. here are all of them..

camy.. i hope abu doesn't read my blog.. haha.. i know we're such sweet people.. we can't help it, right yana?? haha.. we did leave the two of them alone, while
we continued our own private date.. hee.. and we really had a good tan..

on the day camy left for adelaide, yana, ana and i were actually on our way to send her off, but.. clever yana asked to meet so late, and we didn't even got to see her for the last time before she left.. we were taking train, then we realized we were too late, so we alighted at eunos, ran like mad to the main road to flag for cab, but to no avail.. camy called, and we knew we couldn't make it.. yana and i made something for her to bring over, lest she forgets about us, but.. camy.. we'll send it to you, okay?? but, you know what? that time i asked for your mailing address, remember? i forgot to copy it down.. haha.. let me know again when you go online, okay?

it was my mum's birthday on the 25th,, my bro and i treated her to tung lok signature at vivocity.. brought our dates along together with our dad.. it was really costly man.. then went to watch midnight show at PS.. can't remember the title, but The Rock starred in it.. it was a nice show, though i fell asleep during some parts cause i was really tired.. hee.. my dad left halfway the dinner cause he had work.. well.. it has really been a long time since our whole family went out together.. missed those times when we were young, where we'd go out, celebrate birthdays.. i can't even remember when was the last time.. haiz.. i'm just like any other kid.. yearning for a family day every sunday.. yearning for whole family staying together.. yearning for my family to talk to me, as if they're my friends.. yearning for everything.. i just envy people who have all these.. everytime when i'm out and i see family going out together, i'm jealous.. just so jealous..

enough said.. khin's gone back to south africa.. i miss you, babe.. can't believe you actually work with me that short period of time, and i see you everyday.. oh gosh.. haha.. nimz.. you know how hard it is when i try to avoid her?? with her loud voice and her 'hey'.. how to stand her?? you know what i mean?? haha.. but.. i still love you.. hee.. i miss all of you gals.. and nimz.. i want your invitation card!! i heard they'll be there late, is it?? let's meet up soon, after you return from cameron highlands!!!

jo.. are we meeting again soon?? i hope so.. it's been really fun going out with you.. and you now what?? remember i met you yesterday and thush at far east?right before i met you guys, i was thinking in my heart.. 'when i blog, i'm going to tell jo that i permed my hair.. bet she'll want to see how it looks like..' and the next moment, i see the both of you.. haha.. can you believe it?? so, how do you think it is? i don't really like it though.. guess i still prefer straight hair.. i only like the highlighted part.. haha.. we'll meet up soon, okay???

it was raymond's birthday on the 10th.. well.. not everything went smoothly.. had lessons in the morning, and got to wait for his mum to cook for hiom before we can go out.. i brought him to..... sentosa!!! haha.. my initial plan was to bring him to underwater world, dolphin lagoon, the merlion, the luge, dinner at cafe del mar, musical fountain, then to buy a cake and celebrate at the sky garden at vivocity.. but.. things got cocked up.. few days before, i called up cafe del mar to make reservation, cause i heard the sunset view there is perfect.. but, it was fully booked.. i panicked loh.. told them to put me on the waiting list.. haha.. to play safe, i called up trapizza to make a reservation as well.. haha.. then on the day itself, the person from cafe del mar called.. luckily there's a place for us..

we reached sentosa only at.. i think 3+.. went straight to underwater world, then to dolphin lagoon.. it was already 1830, so we had to go for dinner.. i forgot totally about the musical fountain, and we had to rush all the way there.. haha.. luckily just missed by abit.. had no time to go to vivocity, so we ended up going to siloso beach where i gave him his presents.. how can birthdays go without cakes, right?? i had to lie to him that i'm going to the ladies, where actually i went to look for any shop or restaurants and cafes to buy cakes.. but to no avail.. i resorted to going to trapizza, getting 2scoops of ice-cream, and asked for a candle(those where they light up at those al fresco places.. you guys know which i'm talking about?? ) haha.. the person gave me matchsticks, and i'm so glad he did.. it was so windy, and everytime i sang the birthday song halfway, there goes the flame.. it became a really fast birthday song.. haha.. got him a long-sleeve shirt from domanchi.. chose it together with jo.. thanks jo!! =) he has no choice but to love it.. haha.. and you know what.. i had no chance to buy the specs.. haha.. all in all.. i think we did enjoy ourselves, despite the small disputes we had..

okay, okay.. actually got more pictures, but now, raymond's brother's awake, and i think he wants to use tho computer.. will blog soon.. ciao.....

oopss..

2007-01-04T17:15:00.000+08:00

i forgot totally to put the job i'm working right now in my previous post.. it was recommended by camy actually.. she was asked to work but she was busy that time, so she gave my number to her friend.. guess it's on the 14th of november if i'm not wrong.. so, yup.. till now, i'm still working here.. good job.. good pay.. i'll only stop working when they sack me.. haha.. hope not so soon.. cause i still want the money.. hee..
anyway.. i'm bored.. nothing to do at work.. please help...

Happy New Year!!

2007-01-03T17:24:00.000+08:00

happy new year to all!! it's another year.. time really flies man.. hmmm.. so, a little recap of the year 2006..
the beginning of the year, raymond went ns.. it was really quite a hard time for me cause we've spent so much time with each other, and suddenly, i can't meet him for weeks.. well.. it was tough, but i survived.. hee..
worked at pan pacific hotel's summerhouse.. that period of time was really tiring for me.. i actually lost weight while i was working there.. well.. i guess it was partly because of raymond that time.. didn't last that job for a long time.. and i owe an apology to asliana cause she recommended me that job but i quit after a short period of time.. sorry, babe..
chinese new year.. earned quite a sum of money.. hope this year will be much better.. hee..
celebrated raymond's 21st birthday in advance.. pieced a 1000-pieces of jigsaw, brought him to sky-dining then movie..
my bro's 21st birthday the next day.. had chalet with family, then invited raymond over.. well.. things happened there, and we didn't really enjoy ourselves..
then came the release of 'A' level results.. arrrrgggghhhh.. just don't feel like talking about it.. it just sucks!!
first time to raymond's camp.. for his POP.. took pictures, but sadly, i lost everytnihg cause of the camera.. so sad..
recommended by sis to work at red army watches.. both outlets, 1 at wisma, another at millenia walk.. i can conclude that sales is just not my cup of tea.. unless you know lots about what you're selling.. if not, don't ever be a salesperson.. the thing is.. i've not quit.. idon't know how to tell them.. they assume that i'm still busy with studies and will call rhem once i'm done.. gosh.. hope noone from there reads my blog..
taught atiqah tuition.. supposed to be maths and accounts, but it ended with maths only.. haha.. well.. i really hope that she'll have good results for her to enter uni..
raymond went brunei for.. i think a month.. didn't know what i did that period of time.. but luckily, i survived.. heard he'll be leaving to either thailand or taiwan for a month in march.. haiz.. i wonder what will happen..
help camy with this esprit event at vivocity.. met lots of stars there... was really an awesome night, helping them take pictures with the polaroid camera.. and.. it's on the eve of my birthday.. wasn't feeling well towards the end, but still i endured throughout.. felt so sick on my way home, but still, i managed to crawl home.. haha..
my birthday was great.. celebrated with friends, raymond and family.. this year will be my 21st.. hmmm.. i don't know how i'm going to celebrate.. actually thought of having something at sentosa.. since i love to tan and all.. but.. who will come??well.. just wait and see..
my darling khin mimi san returned for a holiday.. miss those times when we spent in school.. her accent now.. abd her 'hay'.. haha.. we can't help but laugh..
went to raymond's red beret presentation.. he had to walk the gruelling 72km before he can get the red beret.. erm.. it looks abit like the one which the suntec's security's wearing, but.. haha.. the parade was really nice.. but i can't post the pictures.. sad..
christmas eve.. i stayed home.. raymond had to do duty.. but he came to my place after 12midnight cause he asked his friend to help him cover his duty.. my house had a mini party.. gambled blackjack.. and i won abit of money.. hee.. on christmas, went to jo's house to celebrate christmas.. my first year there.. was lively and really crowded.. but we had fun.. especially the anxiety you'll get when you play bingo.. thush's really lucky man.. oh, btw.. jo.. raymond bought the game bingo too.. haha.. it's abit different from your place's though.. he got addicted to it.. haha..
the move from old campus to new campus was a really big 'wow'.. images of lessons time, break time, netball, pe.. everything.. flashes across my mind.. i really miss school.. friends.. teachers.. haiz.. the new school's really big.. have i mention before?? the hall's air-conditioned.. gosh.. they are really fortunate.. took pictures with lots of people.. and finally, all of my 3years.. i took picture with.. any takers?? yes!! george!! haha.. i was really excited when i see him.. my heartbeat was really fast.. my friends can verify it.. gosh.. i'm really happy!!
new years' eve was kinda boring.. raymond slept the whole afternoon.. our countdown was spent in his friend's car.. haha.. had a jam.. not because there were lots of cars.. but cause cars just stopped when the fireworks were out.. needless to say.. i missed it.. heard it was nice.. haiz..
on the whole.. 2006 was okay.. but i want more happenings in my life.. good results in my studies.. less quarrels with raymond.. more outings with friends. a splendid year..
more pictures will be uploaded soon.. and sorry for the long post.. happy new year!!

netball, anyone?

2006-12-26T16:26:00.000+08:00

anyone interested in playing netball with miss siew khim's BB gals on 28th december, at 0830? please let me know asap.. thanks..

more pictures...

2006-12-09T21:59:00.000+08:00

i'm back to upload more pictures from my digital camera.. well.. enjoy them..

this was taken at the third level at vivocity.. clear, right? so proud of my digital camera.. haha..

if it was taken further away, wouldn't this look like a real person in the position to do pull up??

PSP has always been what he'll do ever since he bought it.. am i losing value?? *deep in thoughts*

but, it's okay.. i've my chocolates.. haha..

our trip home after a big shopping trip at Giant..

was on our way to collect the marathon's goodies bag.. felt thirsty and hungry while waiting for ain, so we ended up at citylink's gelare..

they looked like they were having a good time..

but.. i found out later that raymond actually rejected her.. haha..

then, she realized that it's better to be with me.. =)

waffle ice-cream, here we come...........
went sentosa the next day.. raymond's friend supposed to come, but it ended up with..

i realized my hair colour's really gone.. will go and colour soon...

look at the weather.. it's a bad sign...

never mind.. enjoy first.. chips, anyone?

well.. i just wanted to take both of us.. then an extra came.. haha..

okay lah.. don't say that i'm bad.. =p
we were waiting for the rain to stop at this shelter, and look at what the two of them were doing..

suddenly, i just wondered how we'll look like if we had the same moustache... *dreams*

went pizza hut with camy and cikgu ana.. they treated me!!! hee..

does it look like a nightclub?

cikgu ana.. i see you inside.. haha...

camy.. what's wrong with your skills?? we're disfigured.. jealous of us, right? haha..

finally...

i don't know what's wrong with us.. haha..

went to esplanade to watch MI's anklung performance.. and we met shak there!!!

camy!!! where did you go???

oh.. there you are..

we saw this little gal there.. she was only with a shirt and her pampers.. gosh.. camy and all started to talk to her and i've no idea why she kept clinging onto me.. she would go around telling people to clap their hands when the performance was on.. people even thought that she was my sister.. haha.. when i left for awhile, she even asked for me.. haha.. ain't i likable? =p

and i met few of my friends there..

ika, my netball junior.. when are we having the friendly huh??

collin was there after his work.. he came down to support his friend..

shaiful, my secondary school friend, currently at MI..

it was really a wonderful outing.. i miss all my friends!!

pictures..

2006-12-01T14:14:00.000+08:00

these are some pictures which i took.. enjoy!! =)

this is the bouquet of flowers which he bought for me.. it's the first time i received such a big bouquet.. 11stalks.. thanks, dear..

at Thai Express the next day..

i love the blurness..
doesn't this look like my tortoise is thirsty?? haha..

the Christmas tree at Cathay.. it's in pink..

then an artificial one at PS.. it's blue!!

this is actually a Christmas card..

then had dinner at this Japanese restaurant..

look at how much we actually ate..

this is fried tempura ice-cream..

let's see how it tastes..

hmmm.. the smile shows it??

went JB with my family..

one of the shopping centres we went to..

look at how happy my grandma is with Ronald McDonald's.. she must have missed her childhood.. haha..

had lunch at this restaurant..

look at this drink.. my cousin actually licked the peanuts outside.. haha..

dinner at another restaurant.. this is the fried ice-cream..

though tired after the whole day of shopping, guess we were happy..
that's all folks.. will post more soon...

sum up..

2006-11-27T17:07:00.000+08:00

attended raymond's red beret presentation on thursday, with his parents.. actually took pictures and videos, but his CO or OC messaged everyone and warned them not to put any of it on friendster or blog.. it's something about confidential.. haiz.. there were some nice pictures.. too bad.. if you want to see, well, you can meet me, and i'll show them to you.. haha.. the parade was cool.. had some 12-man show or something, and the poor guys had to walk 72km before they can get the red beret.. some guys had already walked 30+km, but theey couldn't take it, and in the end, they can't get their beret.. that's a pity.. everyone had abration.. thighs, feet.. they looked so funny when they walk, but not during the parade.. it's all in the mind.. haha.. after which, we had dinner at changi village.. ate chicken hor fun(or something like that).. not bad.. there were two stalls selling the same thing side by side.. i was guessing they are family or relatives.. both stalls are recommended by the media.. and they sure attract many people..
on friday, met raymond and we went to sim lim square.. he bought his PSP there, and he wants the guy to help him do something.. then we headed to bugis.. shopped around then went vivocity.. stayed at the starbucks for sometime with us taking turns to play the PSP.. well, it's mine cause he downloaded most games, or rather all games, for me to play.. haha.. in the end, we went Giant to buy stuffs.. he bought so many packets of cup noodles.. as if he's going into hiding.. haha.. while i bought lots of chips.. like i'm having party.. haha.. when we took train to my place, we were holding so many plastic bags that eyes were on us.. haha.. he stayed over at my place.. everytime when he comes over, i don't know why my grandma isn't happy.. is it because he doesn't like him? but that time i went JB, he asked why he didn't come.. it's so contradicting, right??? i just don't understand.. whenever he came over, it seems that she didn't acknowledge his presence.. as is, when he calls her, she didn't reply.. but whenever my brother's girlfriend came over, she seems happy.. the feeling just sucks man..
on saturday, went his place to put all the stuffs we bought at Giant.. supposed to meet his friends at 1100 to collect the marathon's goodie bag, but we were late, so we didn't meet them.. met ain and yana at cityhall.. went gelare at citylink to have waffles.. will post the pictures soon.. anyway, things happen when we were collecting our goodie bags.. was talking on the phone with my mum, and i just got a little emotional that tears rolled down my eyes.. just some issues, but i didn't quarrel with my mum.. it's not about her.. before that, i had a small dispute with raymond.. well, in the end he mede it up by buying a rose for me.. haha.. how sweet, right? but not only me who has it.. both my friends have it too.. as if they're sad too.. hmmmm... walked around at marina before accompanying ain to borders.. and, we met ad there!! it's been so long, and i was really happy to see her.. only talked abit and she has to leave.. i forgot to take pictures with her.. haiz.. hope we'll meet up soon.. ain left to meet firdaus at PS, while raymond and i went to hunt for his grandma's birthday present.. ended up buying some fingerfood for himself, and we took bus back to his place cause he said he'll cook for me.. in the end, we bought food home from the coffeeshop near his place.. haha..
sunday came, and raymond and i met yana to go sentosa..sunwas great when we reached, but the moment we reached siloso beach from palawan beach, cause my dear friend hasn't been there before, the weather's threatening.. true enough, rain came.. ended up at vivocity cause once again, my friend hasn't been there.. ate at banquet.. tried the japanese food, ate the chicken karaage meal, but there's only 3 pathetic pieces.. haiz.. but, it's okay lah, the rice makes me full.. brought the 'mountain tortoise' around and she got bored of it.. haha..
well.. overall, it has been a great weekend.. good to meet up with friends.. gosh.. tha maathon's this week.. how am i going to complete it?? i've not started running!!!
anyways, i'm at work now.. picked up a phonecall just now, and this really angry man wants to report me to the police, and put my name in the newspaper.. it's all because one of my colleague did something and i merely picked up the phonecall.. i'm innocent and i didn't even do anything.. gosh.. luckily it got settled.. he still told me he's recorded our conversation.. like, whatever lah.. nevermind, it's over.. 1 more hour to go.. i'm meeting camy and farhana later to see angklung performance at esplanede.. hope it turns out nice.. =)

tired!!

2006-11-20T13:45:00.000+08:00

i'm at work now.. so tired.. haiz.. on saturday, i went out with raymond and his friends.. in the end, i reached home about 0300+, and i only slept at 0400+.. had to wake up at 0700+ cause i went JB with my family.. it was really fun though tiring.. we went jusco, holiday inn plaza, and city square.. had dinner at taman sentosa, a restaurant which was newly opened only for 10 days.. it was not bad, and the lady boss treated us to fried ice-cream.. not bad, but it's strawberry flavoured.. we left at about 2200+, but we only reached home at 0000+.. there was a really bad jam, and i fell asleep throughout.. haha.. i didn't buy anything.. all the things i bought are for raymond cause it's his money. haha.. hopefully next time i can go with my friends, cause i believe it'll be really fun.. really looking forward to that day.. +)

2006-11-17T16:36:00.000+08:00

i'm working now.. but i'm so bored.. there's nothing for me to do.. haiz.. quite an easy job for me.. $6.50 an hour, but there's nothing to do.. just to sit down and wait for time to pass.. haha.. *touchwood* later got lots of things for me to do.. hee.. anyways, i had a wonderful birthday celebration.. raymond surprised me at my house.. waited hours for me outside my house.. it was raining really heavily, that's why i didn't go out of my house.. supposed to meet my friends 1400, but i only left my house that time.. so, raymond waited for me, for about 2hours, and when i stepped into the lift, he appeared right behind me with a bouquet of 11 stalks of red roses.. hee.. that's really sweet of him.. cause he's not supposed to book out on that day, but he told his officer that his grandma had operation.. he didn't lie, but he got the wrong person.. it's his aunt whom underwent an operation.. haha.
went town to meet my secondary school friends, then we went wheelock place's NYDC..shopped around for my heels, but they got to leave.. in the end, raymond bought them for me from mphosis.. not bad lah.. quite nice.. then we walked around to enquire about psp from lucky plaza.. don't know what's so fun about that.. i just don't understand.. there're so many versions now, i'm so confused as to which version is for what, and neither does he.. so, why does he still insist on buying it?? why is 1game coming up with so many versions?? it's just a game, right? never mind.. anyways, after which, we went to meet my family at siglap's haagen daz.. finally i got my digital camera.. though it's neither sony nor canon but olympus, i still love it.. hee.. it's a shared present from my aunt, cousin, and brother.. i love them.. haha..
okay.. back to work.. till then~

who's going to celebrate my birthday with me??

2006-11-09T03:12:00.000+08:00

it's the 9th of november right now.. just 2more days away and it's my birthday.. actually was really looking forward to this day, and was counting down to celebrate with whoever whom wants to celebrate with me.. but, sadly, raymond has range on that day, and he can only book out on sunday.. my secondary school friends told me they want to celebrate with me, but it's not confirmed.. my mum did ask if i'm booked on that day, i said 'yes', cause it was before all of them who told me that they can't.. right now, i'm not sure what that day will happen.. am i going to spend it alone?? haiz..
what's birthday when noone celebrates it for you? well, frankly speaking, it's just another ordinary day.. a day which signifies that you're a day older.. oh well.. it doesn't matter if anyone celebrates with you or not, right? no doubt i was really sad when raymond told me that he couldn't book out on that day, but i've to live with it.. no point getting upset over something which we have no control over.. although he told me weeks before that it's a 'public holiday' on that day and no matter what, he'll spend that day with me.. oh well.. he spoke too soon..
enough of that.. btw, if you still don't know what to get me, there're somethings which i wrote under 'intro' and i made the fonts bigger.. so, you can go and read it up.. hee..
coming to my studies.. the last module which i did.. i got an 'A'!! 85marks!! hee.. so happy for myself.. there's still 1more module to go, and after which, i can get a diploma in business adminstration(business, travel, and tourism)!! if i am top student, i can apply for scholarship, i think, if i want to go to james cook university.. but, the thing is, till now, i still don't know what i want.. i did think of what i want to do in the future, but till now, there's no conclusion.. haiz..
atiqah's maths paper is tomorrow.. i mean later.. this means that i'm no longer a tuition teacher.. haiz.. that's so sad.. i really hope that she'll be able to at least pass.. hmmm.. think i need to go and find more students.. maybe primary or secondary students.. it's easier for me to do and teach.. then can earn more money.. actually my red army watches still want me to work.. but, i'm like so lazy to work there.. it's because i don't have any product knowledge, and whenever i attend to customers, they'll bombard me with all sorts of unanswerable(which i feel) questions.. it just makes me feel really lousy.. that's why i dread going back.. hmmm.. hopefully i'll find something which i enjoy, so that i'll find that i actually don't have to work a day..

to sum up...

2006-10-24T17:39:00.000+08:00

this picture was taken at a traffic light stop at geylang.. we met up, with abu and raymond, to break fast.. walked the whole of geylang , with most of the time, losing track of each other.. haha.. it was really fun to meet together after such a long time.. but, it was sad when my boyfriend doesn't want to take picture with me.. haiz.. he told me that 'he's from the special force, and his face shouldn't be shown to others.. but..

not only that, he still smile.. he seldom smile when he takes pictures with me.. i'm jealous.. yes.. if you were with us that night, i'm sure you'd be jealous as well if you were his girlfriend..

forget about that.. it was my aunt's birthday last week.. we celebrated at a steamboat restaurant at suntec, followed by ktv.. well, i don't sing, but i was forced to.. don't ask what the outcome was, cause you guys wouldn't want to know.. haha.. overall, we had fun.. let the pictures do the talking..

raymond had his pilot interview, and he passed.. i'm proud of him, but he said he'd rather not pass, cause he knew that he didn't do well.. oh well.. no matter what, i'm still proud of you.. hee.. hope you'll pass your medical check-up this friday.. he's booking in tonight, in less than 3hours' time.. haiz.. hope that weekends come fast..

i miss you..

2006-10-20T21:58:00.000+08:00

i'm chatting with aisyah right now.. i miss you so much, gal.. but you tell me you're still not coming back.. how could you.. it's been ages since i last met you.. you're so heartless to leave me here, missing you?? please don't.. we've yet to celebrate dipz's birthday, my birthday, and yours.. i don't want you to go astray there.. please come back fast.. stop going round the world.. i'm jealous of you!! haha.. but that's not the main point.. the main thing is, i miss you.. so, please come back soon, okay? i'll go pick you up from the airport.. really..

what should i do??

2006-10-10T16:57:00.001+08:00

it's my exam tomorrow, but i've yet to study.. gosh.. i know that if i don't do well, i'll be really disappointed.. but, despite that, i still can't bring myself to study.. what should i do?? i tried to, but to no avail.. i've done well for my test, i don't want to let the final exam bring down my marks.. i've calculated.. in order to get an 'A' for this module, i need at least 52/70.. how can i get that if i don't study?? there's still 1 essay question.. gosh.. i'm dead..

2006-10-05T12:43:00.000+08:00

today is thursday.. 2more days and my boyfriend will be back!! so excited.. hee.. i'm at my uncle's house.. this week's considered fast cause i've been busy helping out at my ex-neighbour's place for some occasion.. i don't know how to say, but if you want to know, you can go to my links and click under 'xindua'.. there'll be some pictures there for you to see..
i'm at my uncle's place again.. guess it's the only place i can go now in order to use the computer.. haha.. tomorrow's mid-autumn festival, as well as my grandpa's birthday(according to the lunar calendar).. so, i'll be going to his place tomorrow for buffet.. last year, we celebrated at a restaurant-like place.. the place where i suffered from food poisoning few weeks ago.. haha.. hopefully tomorrow's food will be safe from eating.. hee..
went to teach tuition yesterday.. after that, i went lot 1 to see if there're mooncakes to buy for raymond's parents.. true enough, they're having a mooncake fair, and there're many stalls.. as i'm not good in buying mooncakes, i was having trouble with which to choose.. in the end, i decided to buy from 2stalls with the most number of people.. haha.. it's simple logic? hope it's nice.. and you guys know what? just now, raymond's dad called and asked me to go downstairs my house cause raymond's mum got something for me.. she bought mooncakes for my family as well.. haha.. shouldn't have.. i feel bad now..
also, people have been asking me about the netball team which i've been wanting to set up.. it didn't succeed the other time cause i didn't get enough players.. anyone who's interested, please tag me or drop me a message on my hp.. i really hope to start playing soon..
my exams will be on the 11th of october.. exactly a month before my birthday.. *hint* *hint* haha.. anyway, i had a test last week or so, and guess what? i topped the class.. it's over 50 and i got 47!! so proud of myself.. hee.. this test stands 30% of the overall marks.. so, i got 28/30!! haha.. hope that when raymond returns, i'll have time to study and get another 'A' for this module..
it's past 12midnight.. it means that i'll be seeing raymond really soon.. he's coming back on saturday, and will reach at around 0740.. i have in mind, things that we can do for the period that he'll book out.. hopefully it's not just a day or two.. i'm really looking forward.. will try to update soon when i've time.. ciao..

BOO!!

2006-09-28T04:12:00.000+08:00

it's 0303 right now.. i've to blog so late cause of my uncle.. helped him to download some songs to the computer then wanted to burn to the disc, but things happen.. don't know why it got hanged and i've to restart the computer.. waste my time only.. in the end, i can't burn to the disc.. i'll try again the next time when i come..
it's been a really long time since i blogged.. yes, i'm still alive, kicking.. for those who are really concerned, you'd have known what happened, and for those who don't, it's okay.. cause at least you're showing some concern now that you're reading my blog.. i was suffering from food poisoning on the 16th of september, if i'm not wrong.. vomited, had diarrhoea(or hoever it's spelt), and i didn't eat for 2days.. after which, i survived only by eating porridge fo almost a week.. by right, i should've lost lots of weight, but by left, i didn't.. instead, i think i put on lots of weight.. i don't know why.. raymond took care of me on that day for the whole day.. he came to my place immediately after going home to put his stuff cause he just booked out, at about 0900.. accompanied me to the doctor, fed me with medicine and glucose(which i depended on for the 2days which i didn't eat), applied medicated oil for me, and he did everything he could just to make me feel better.. for that, i was really touched.. thanks, dear.. he wanted to stay for the night to look after me, but i told him it's okay.. cause the next day, he's leaving for brunei for 3weeks, and he has yet to pack his bag, and also yet to meet his friends.. well, i'm considerate, i can't help it.. haha..
the next day, i felt so much better.. so, i decided to go out and meet him.. if not, i wouldn't be able to do so for the next 3weeks.. i'm glad i did, cause i really did enjoy myself, even though we didn't go to many places.. met him at lot 1, where the first thing he tempted me with was mcdonald's breakfast.. he was there with his friends, then when i reached, he said, 'today, the mcdonald's breakfast not nice leh..' haha.. we walked around for awhile, then his friend sent us back to his place.. we watched 'snakes on the plane', packed his bag, and went to mustafa centre with his parents.. after which, we went for dinner(and obviously i didn't eat.. haha..), then went to his grandmother's place at hougang.. watched soccer there, we had a bet, and i lost a tub of ben and jerry's ice cream to him.. haiz.. the time was 2200+ and he has to leave for the airport.. haiz.. i can't send him to the airport, and i'm glad i didn't(even though i'd love to) cause i know i'll cry if i did.. 9more days and he'll be back.. i can't wait to see him!!
well, it's true that many things happened during the first week when he's not around.. i'd wanted him so badly to be with me, to think things with me and to give me some advice.. i was really sad cause i needed to handle them alone.. it seems that they ain't such a big deal now, but i was really affected at that time.. it's okay, i'm glad that things are getting better now..
2days after i got food poisoning, my mum had it as well.. she was even hospitalised for a day, but luckily there's no big problem.. at that time when she was in bed, i'd wanted so much to be by her bedside, to talk to her, to comfort her, to do everything which a daughter ought to do.. i went to visit her, but i didn't do anything.. i don't know why.. i just can't bring myself to do it.. i'm such a failure.. i've always wanted so much to tell her that i love her, but not to mention that, i can't even hold a proper conversation with her.. i'm such a failure.. forget it.. the more i think about things, everything will start to come back again.. i'll just forget it..
to asliana, so sorry that i didn't know you were hospitalised, and i didn't go and visit you or anything.. i'm glad that you're fine now.. nice catching up with you, and i know you still have lots of things which you've yet to tell me.. i'm always willing to listen to you, okay? i'll be here for you.. and, i saw your friendster picture.. don't try to snatch adidas away from me, okay? it'll always stay loyal to me.. haha.. also, stop making me jealous by using raymond.. =)
to ain, hope you really like the birthday present i bought for you(though the brown is nicer now.. lol..).. it was nice watching soccer with you at chijmes, and it was expected of you to scream when liverpool scored.. haha.. your school will be starting soon.. hope you'll enjoy there and study hard..
to joanne, it's been a really long time since we had so much fun talking on the phone, and i didn't regret calling you on that day.. i know that now you're busy studying for your 'A' levels, so you wouldn't have time to go out.. make sure you date me after your last paper, okay? it's just 1month left, so don't give up now at this time and do your best.. i've confidence in you..
to wyd, i know you've been busy in your studies, so no worries that you can't meet me.. just let me know when you're free and we'll meet up often, okay?
to dipti, it's been a long time since i heard from you.. how have you been? too busy with your studies? i hope not.. don't stress yourself, okay? you're smart.. ask me out when you're having holidays, ya?
to vengky, don't give yourself too much pressure.. sometimes, you get so stressed that you can't think properly.. loosen yourself and enjoy life once in awhile, even if it's during school days.. hee..
to nimrta, i don't know when i'll be free to go out, but i really want to meet you.. it's been a really long time since we met up.. you didn't tell me that you're having holidays.. *sob* *sob* i don't care.. you got to make it up to me the next time we go out.. your treat.. haha..
to khin, if you're reading this, just know that whatever happens, i'll always be by your side.. even though we're far apart, our hearts connect us together.. let me know whenever you need my help, okay?
to raymond, at this time, you should be getting up soon, and going to get ready for outfield.. you'll be out there for almost a week.. take good care of yourself, okay? in less than 10days' time, i'm going to see you at the changi airport!!
to myself, the time is already 0358.. if you still don't sleep, you'll see a big panda tomorrow.. haha.. lastly, the module's finishing soon and exams are coming.. make sure you study hard and get goon grades.. after which, 1more module and you'll get a diploma!! you can do it, amanda!! =)

haiz...

2006-08-27T17:24:00.000+08:00

raymond will be going tekong again, from tomorrow till saturday.. but he can only book out on sunday.. haiz.. don't know when he needs to book in next.. that time when he came back from tekong, he had a detachment outing with his detachment mates, together with his sergeant and sir.. his sir asked to bring their girlfriends along, so i went.. went to a japanese restaurant at suntec for dinner.. it was quite nice, and his mates are friendly as well.. but, too bad.. some of them had been asked to change to another detachment, and the new mates.. well, raymond will need lots of time to get used to them.. haha.. hope he'll get used to them fast and talk to them.. heard there'll be another outing for them after the tekong trip.. wonder where they'll be going next.. but whatever it is, hope he'll come back fast, and book in later..
hmmm.. grabbed some pictures from asliana's blog.. hee.. we took them when we went sentosa last week.. hey.. i don't know why i tried to upload the pictures but it didn't come out.. haiz.. i'm just so lousy in IT.. never mind..
ain!! can i book you on the 2nd of september, saturday? i don't know where to go or what to do, but just be free, and you'll do the plannig, okay?? let me know.. thanks..
and for the standard chartered marathon, i'm beginning to have doubts whether i can complete it.. haiz.. anyone still interested, please let me know asap.. thanks..

quick update..

2006-08-22T13:33:00.000+08:00

sentosa was indeed a fun outing, with friends whom i've never met for so long.. asliana, her primary school friend and her 2 brothers, ain, shak, razali, shaf and her colleague.. played monkey, ultimate frisbee.. but too bad, noone dares to borrow volleyball.. haha.. heaven was like playing a trick on us, with bits of drizzling, dark clouds, but ultimately, i still got a beautiful tan.. hee..
finally raymond was back from tekong on sunday.. i only managed to meet him at about 2100+.. but, luckily, he came over my place to stay, which made up for the loss of time.. hee.. he's only booking in tonight, and i'm so glad to have spent weekdays with him, no crowds or whatsoever.. these days when he's out, i really enjoyed myself.. no quarrels, no disputes.. perhaps it's due to the tekong days when we can't contact each other.. well, i hope that we'll continue to stay this way, even when he's not going tekong.. *pray* *pray*
attention please!! amanda is very proud to announce that she's gotten another 'A' for her diploma module.. she got 87 for the module in Principles of Marketing.. a round of applause, please.. hee.....
oh.. and to those who's reading my blog, i would like to ask if anyone wants to join the standard chartered marathon 2006, on 3rd of december, for 42km.. parties interested, please kindly message me and let me know, since i only check my blog at most once a week.. the cheapest fee is $42, for people to sign up before 31st august, so kindly let me know asap.. thanks..

2006-08-13T18:05:00.000+08:00

i'm at raymond's house now.. had work for 2hours just now, then he came and pick me up.. he was abit early, and he came to the shop.. so, i got to serve him.. but, i wasn't being nice.. haha..
then we went to the cathay cause the jersey that i bought for him wasn't the right size.. it was abit big.. the salesperson could recognize me.. the first time i went, i asked him if the jersey came with a box.. he said no and asked me to check out some website, which i didn't.. then the second time i went, he asked if i decided to get the jersey, so i said ya.. tis is the third time i met him, and he talked as if i'm his long-lost friend.. haha..
we headed down to PS, and after which, we came back.. well.. he got to book in early today.. haiz.. i can only see him next sunday cause he's going tekong.. hope time pass fast, and dear, please take good care of yourself..
yesterday, raymond and i went out with some of his friends.. went to ang mo kio to eat seafood, then headed to esplanade to watch fireworks.. it was nice at the end.. looks like golden rain drops falling from the sky.. haha.. spectacular and wonderful, with him by my side, apart from the fact that it was impossible to move and some 'monkeys' were screaming behind us, as if they were really amazed by the fireworks.. but the actual fact was that they were screaming just for the sake of screaming.. kids..
after which, we wanted to go starbucks at clarke quay, but cause one of his friend has an injured leg, we ended up taking train to somerset, coffee club.. weight has been increasing due to all the late night supper.. ate the muddy mud pie(if i'm not wrong).. it was good, but raymond says that it tasted like chewy gum.. haha.. then i headed home.. overall, it was really a wonderful day spent with him..
and.. my friend complained that i didn't write about her.. haha.. ain!!!!! went out with her the day before my exams.. she studied with me while i accompanied her to shop for her clothes.. it's been awhile since we met.. hope we'll meet up soon.. miss ya, babe..
should be going to sentosa with asliana next saturday.. can't wait till that day.. miss ya too..
and lastly.. going to miss raymond lots.. ciao..

why???

2006-08-12T01:00:00.000+08:00

i'm at my aunt's house right now.. just had my exams this morning.. it was considered okay, considering the fact that i only studied the day before.. (so amanda, right?? haha..)
it's been a long time since i blogged.. well, don't really know what to say..
well, national day was supposed to be a happy day, but things didn't turn out good on that day.. quarrelled with raymond again..i don't know why.. i only get to see him once a week, and having to have an extra day should be a bonus to me, but no.. things just didn't work that way.. still remember last year on national day, we had fun.. went marina square to see fireworks, and we met george there.. hee.. well, that's not the reason why i had fun.. it's the fact that i love to see fireworks, and being able to be in the arms of that someone, doing things that you like, it's just wonderful.. i just don't understand why we'll have arguments most of the time.. i don't want it to happen, but it happens.. it hurts everytime when it happens, and when the time comes for him to book in, i'll regret.. i know this'll happen, but i just can't help it.. sometimes i really wonder.. are we really compatible? we are different in so many ways, is that why we always end up quarrelling?? haiz.. i don't know.. it was our anniversary yesterday.. but we haven't celebrate yet.. he hasn't book out.. hope tomorrow will be a good day since he's booking out.. i bought him a chelsea jersey.. hope he'll like it.. and he's going to tekong for a week.. going to miss him.. so, i really hope that we wouldn't quarrel tomorrow and sunday.. *pray hard*
hmmm... friends make up a part in completing a person, isn't it?i'm glad to have friends who still remember me, either in a good or bad way.. but, i really hope that i wouldn't lose any one of them.. i've a feeling that i'm losing some of them.. what can i do to keep them? i miss them..

sigh

2006-07-23T17:15:00.000+08:00

i saw my name in ain's blog!! yay!! haha.. feel so honoured.. hee.. wait.. gal, you never know.. everybody loves raymond, isn't it?? haha.. you haven't been contacting me.. what are you up to?? and what job did you get? you didn't tell me anything about it.. haiz...
no one has been contacting me.. not even a message.. it seems that everyone is getting on fine, just so sad that noone bothers to tell me anything.. all my friends.. all gone.. oh well..
i think that i'm a very sensitive person.. every little thing that people do, everything little thing that people say, i feel that they are talking about me.. it might not be true sometimes, but it's true most of the time.. even from my family..
sometimes, i feel that raymond's mum doesn't like me.. i know it's silly, but i can't help not to feel this way.. perhaps it's not true, but, i just can't explain why i'm feeling this way..
i used to keep a diary.. well, not really one, but i'll just write things about how i feel whenever i'm down.. now, i no longer do it.. partly because i haven't bought a new book, and also i feel lazy writing it down.. i came to make use of my hp.. i typed in my thoughts and then save it inside.. it just started yesterday, when i was feeling really lousy, and there's noone to talk to.. well, it kinda help in a way.. just felt like i was sending a message to someone..

2006-07-22T18:45:00.000+08:00

just a quick update..
i got an A for my third module.. amazing? i guess so.. i thought i'd flunk it.. but who'd expect i actually scored 83marks for it, and i'm the top student for it.. haha.. well, must be because vengky is no longer taking the diploma, hence no one is vying with me.. hee.. whatever it is, i'm glad..
went to watch movie at the cathay last week.. the cinema is nice, very comfortable.. should be going back to watch again..
to ain, if you're reading this.. don't be disheartened, okay? can always try again.. i'm sure you'll do it the next time round..cause i'm waiting for you to pick me up.. haha..
met up with aisyah, dipti, camy, and farhana last saturday.. it was truly fun.. did many crazy things.. though it's really tiring, it was worth the while..
raymond and i are getting along well.. please don't always bully me.. hee..

2006-07-08T00:02:00.000+08:00

at my cousin's house now.. she's having house-warming.. new place at choa chu kang way.. i love her house.. so nice.. just the way i want my future house to be.. especially her room.. haiz.. i've been wanting my own room.. thought of moving back to my mum's place, but the thought of needing to spend money on bed, cupboard, desk, etc, makes me not move back.. i don't wish for my mum to spend so much money on me.. but i really wiish to have my own room.. haiz..
just now, went to raymond's friend's bbq.. it's quite fun.. you see so many of them, hear them talking cock, haha.. you just enjoy listening to their conversation.. then they played soccer at the badminton court.. perspiring so much..
well.. told you people that i've a job at wisma.. so far, i only worked 2days.. once a week.. thought i could get more money after i started work, but it's only once a week.. haiz.. guess i can spend my pay on transportation alone.. actually they need me on weekends, but i guess time spend with my boyfriend is much more important.. haha.. the job's okay.. got to absorb lots of information about the watches.. especially when i know nuts about it.. haiz.. hope i can sell, so that i can earn commission.. haha..
my module's starting on monday.. kind of scared.. but hope it's easy and i can finish fast.. haven't gotten my last module's results.. hope i did well in it..
my cousins are all reading my blog now.. hee.. don't know what else to blog about.. adios..

2006-06-25T13:46:00.000+08:00

it's been a really long time since i blogged.. well, perhaps noone even bother to read it since noone has said anything to me, or even tag me to tell me anything.. i'm kinda losing the anxiety or excitement that i once had when i blogged in the past.. i don't even know what to blog about.. all my entries seemed so dull and boring.. maybe i'm going to stop, or maybe i'll continue blogging.. well, everything depends on my mood..
oh.. had my third module's exams on 23rd of june.. it was okay.. guess most of them were from the tutorial solutions that our lecturer had sent to us.. but, having no computer at home, i didn't know about it till now when i checked my mail.. too late, but who cares.. i did my best for the exams..
going to start my 4th module on 10th of july, which will be held in the newcastle's branch at hougang.. it will be about 'principals of marketing', if i'm not wrong.. hope it will be easy..
going to start a job as a salesperson at wisma, selling watches.. erm.. i think the name is 'swiss army watches', or 'red army watches', or something like that.. hope it will be fun working there..
oh.. to joanne, happy belated birthday!!

well..

2006-06-15T18:25:00.000+08:00

i'm at nimrta's house right now.. i did my project.. well it's just 1 task out of 2 that's done.. it's still so much more to go, and i still promised raymond that i'll finish everything by today.. gosh.. but yet again, i think it's something that i must be proud of, cause i finally managed to finish at least 1!! it's all thanks to nimz.. you helped me lots, gal.. thank you!! without you, i don't know what i'll do.. haha.. love ya..
was supposed to teach atiqah tuition tomorrow, but guess i'll have to cancel it.. sorry babe.. but i've to finish my project by tomorrow, if not, i'm going to get zero.. i really hope that i can finish by tomorrow at ain's house.. thanks sweets, for lending me your com.. hee.. i'll see you tomorrow..
not going to meet raymond today cause he needs to sleep early for his parachute jump tomorrow.. i'm worried for you, dear.. i hope you can do it.. i know you're scared.. i'm sorry i can't do anything about it.. but, i'll always be here for you.. loves~

it sucks!

2006-06-13T15:00:00.000+08:00

i'm at joanne's house now, trying my best to do my individual assignment.. but.. nothing seems to be done.. i've borrowed books from the library, surfed the net.. and i still don't know how the hell do i put everything in the microsoft word.. i can't copy and paste, cause that'll be plagiarism.. then how the hell am i supposed to do it?! i ain't no computer expert who can write them in my own words.. i'm just someone dumb who know nuts about the computer.. why the hell is diploma in business administration(business, travel and tourism), has anything to do with IT?! get a life!!!

can anyone please help?

2006-06-11T21:18:00.000+08:00

i don't know what to blog about.. see what comes to my mind.. hmmm..
today is my 1st year anniversary.. we didin't really celebrate.. went to kbox with his friend, qinyi.. then came over to his place.. i got him a card, decorated it myself with our pictures and some jigsaw drawings, with words inside.. erm.. don't ask me why we didn't celebrate, cause i don't know either.. well, at least my mood is good today.. hee.. dear, i hope ther're many more anniversaries to come.. i love you..
i've started on my 3rd module.. it's fundamentals of IT.. can anyone please help me.. i don't know what the frigging thing the lecturer is talking about, and it's already 5lessons gone.. i've tests tomorrow and till now, i haven't even study.. it's 5chapters.. gosh.. can anyone please help me.. i really have no idea how to study.. on the first day of lesson, he already gave us individual assignment.. it's like a project and we have to submit it on the 17th.. till now, i haven't even start on it.. i'm going to fail this module.. i know.. it sucks.. i've no frigging idea about IT!! the thought of the test, the assignment, and the exam, just make me breakdown.. i'm going to die..

2006-05-28T20:38:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i last blogged.. the theme.. 'Millennia Moves"

well, last saturday, i went to school for the Institute's Day cum carnival.. saw many of my friends and i did some 'catching up'.. well.. raymond received his certificate and in the envelope, there's $50 kinokuniya voucher.. cool huh.. but, if i got that, i think i'd have wasted the voucher.. haha.. well, that's IF.. and it'll never happen, cause i'm not so smart and i wouldn't get anything for any award.. that's the fact, and i've to learn to accept it though it's hard..

anyway, raymond bought me a bouquet of flowers from the carnival, though i hinted him and i bought the coupons, it's still the thought that counts.. haha..

what a grand entrance..

after which, we went to pasir ris chalet to celebrate his friend's and his friend's sister's birthday.. and since his friend has free coupons to escape theme park, we went.. here we come..

we had loads of fun.. though we didn't take some of the exciting rides(cause he's scared.. haha..), we still enjoyed ourselves.. had buffet at his friend's chalet, cut cake, then we took a stroll to the beach.. surprisingly i met one of my secondary school friend, which happened to be raymond's friend's sister's friend.. confusing? it's okay.. haha.. talked abit before we headed home.. we spent the night at my aunt's place cause we're going to the bird park together..
went to jurong bird park with my uncle, aunt, cousins, and raymond.. it's kind of boring as i can see from the tired look from raymond.. haha.. but, it's interesting for my cousins as they seemed to really enjoy themselves..
on monday, dipti came to my house.. it's been a long time since i met her and we had lots to catch up.. she lost weight!! i'm jealous, gal.. haha..
then on thursday, i went out with my secondary friend, nimrta.. it's been so long since i saw her, in fact, all of my secondary school friends.. we had lots of gossips.. talked about everything under the sun.. hee.. was supposed to hunt for jobs, but we ended up shopping at bugis.. i bought this denim overall, which i've always wanted so badly, for $30.. till now, i still haven't wear it, but, i still love it, and i'm going to wear real soon..
well, every friday, i'm supposed to meet raymond, but from now on, he can only book out on saturday.. haiz.. so, i went carrefour with my grandmother, aunt, and cousin.. it's good to go out with family members huh.. they'll pay for everything that you want to buy.. haha.. but, i don't feel good spending their money, so i didn't buy much either..
yesterday, i went to jo's house.. i didn't know 985 changes its route.. i was quite excited when i knew about it.. haha.. jo and i had a great talk, and the both of us ended up looking for movies for the whole afternoon.. everywhere is fully booked, except for those 'ulu' places.. in the end, she watched with her friends, but i waited for raymond to book out.. haiz.. after i met him, we went bugis to meet my aunts cause one of them wants to buy handphone.. was supposed to go shopping with him at adidas cause he wanted to buy me a bikini, but i said no.. well, even though i want it very much, it's still my natural reaction to say no.. though i regret it, well, it's okay.. shall not waste money.. he came my house to stay cause we were supposed to go sentosa today with his friends..
we did go to sentosa, but, it started raining heavily when we reached there.. so, all of us went to mcdonald's, hoping for the rain to stop, but to no avail.. we ended up at bukit timah, playing pool.. hmmm.. we did have some disagreements.. i don't know why.. everytime we meet, there's surely something that we'll quarrel about.. perhaps my expectations of a boyfriend is not what everyone can meet? i don't know.. but, i keep telling myself, don't expect too much, cause the more i expect, the more i'll be disappointed..
hmmm.. that's what happened to me for the past week.. oh.. one of my cousins got top in class, as well as in the level for her mid-year examinations.. though she's in secondary one, normal academic, her scores for some subjects are really wonderful.. there's no doubt a sense of jealousy in me.. how she can do so well, with so many people praising her, buying her things to reward her.. i can never be like her anymore.. how i've let my family down.. the feeling just sucks.. sucks..

2006-05-14T18:53:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a totally horrible day.. well.. things just went 'hay-wired' the day before yesterday..
we met in the afternoon at town.. guess was supposed to celebrate our 11th month anniversary, but things didn't go well.. i just had no mood all of a sudden, and it lasted for the whole day.. before i left my house, i was thinking that maybe he left his house early to get something for me as a surprise, but it didn't come true.. but, i wasn't angry or what, maybe just a feeling in me that i expect too much..
i wanted to go home, not wanting him to send me home.. i left, and when i boarded the bus, he was behind me.. my first reaction was to press the bell, and we alighted.. he was kinda upset, and asked why i alight as well.. actually i thought we could talk things out, but he kept repeating that, so i said sorry then left.. i waited at the bus stop, hoping that maybe he'll come after me or something, but it didn't come true.. waited for about 45minutes, then i went home..
when i reached home, i thought he might wait for me at the void deck or something, but it didn't come true..
was waiting for his message at home, but he didn't.. so, i messaged him, and all he said was, 'think we need a day or two to think about us..' hmmm.. why did it end this way? i've no idea.. i just left my place to go for a stroll, and i don't know what time i reached home..
the next day, i left my house at around 0800, and again, i was hoping maybe he'd be at the void deck, but it didn't come true.. i didn't know where to go, so i went to the mcdonald's at my house, sat there, thinking if i should order anything, but i didn't.. wanted to go to east coast to relax, but i thought maybe i'll meet him later or something, so i didn't.. again, my natural reaction was to go somewhere near him.. in the end, i took 985 to west mall.. ended up at the mcdonaald's, and i sat there till 1500+.. while sitting there, i was near the window, and i was counting the number of ants tcrawling outside the window.. i was thinking if there's no ant or when there's 11, he'll message.. it did come true, but.. he didn't message me or anything.. guess i'm crazy.. i couldn't take it, so i messaged him in the end.. i asked if he still care for me, cause he knew that i was out of house after midnight, but he didn't message me or anything.. what if i met with an accident? well.. i know we quarrelled, but still, shouldn't there be some care and concern? oh well.. things still didn't turn out well..
an idea struck me.. went to west mall and i bought a card for him.. bought a pen, wrote what i wanted to tell him, then i went to his house to put in the letter box.. messaged him to check his mail box, then i left..
headed to my uncle's house at pasir ris to celebrate mothers' day.. ate steamboat.. when i reached, everyone asked why i was alone.. i told them that he went to his grandmother's house.. well, i didn't lie.. that's the truth.. my grandmother was gossipping about me, but i heard.. think she said something like i was lonely without him.. hmmm.. i was really lonely, cause i had nothing to do when he wasn' there..
well, things are better between us now, cause we had a talk, i mean message.. so, i hope it'll last.. right now, i'm at his house, so i hope so.. i love you..

2006-05-12T18:40:00.000+08:00

if you really know me, you'd know what i want even without asking.. if you know me, you wouldn't ask me what i want, but instead, buy it without my presence.. if you know me, you'd know that if you ask me, i would definitely say no.. but.. i know you ask me cause you really don't know what to buy.. but, i love whatever that you buy.. guess i don't understand you much as well.. but.. let's just work together to know each other better? i hope so..
went out with my aunt on thursday.. guess what, people.. i got a tattoo!! my long-awaited wish.. hee..

on my inner part of left ankle
then, we went shopping.. went adidas at bugis.. actually i didn't want to spend her money.. but she just took this bag, asked me if it's nice, and when i said the other colour is nicer, she just asked the salesperson to get a new one.. haha.. jealous? i didn't even know how much it cost till i went adidas with raymond today.. it's $79.. gosh.. and you know what? i saw this bag, which only cost $59.. it's the kind of bag i've always wanted.. those you carry by the side.. haiz.. but it's okay.. i still love it..
there's also this new bikini at adidas.. brazil and france.. it's time i get a new set, but.. no job, no money.. haiz..
last but not least.. to those who are concerned about me.. i got back my results for my 2nd module(diploma).. i can't believe it.. i got a 'B'!! scored 72marks.. hee.. i'm proud of myself.. didn't know i'll score this high cause i thought i'll flunk it.. yay!!

2006-05-09T18:07:00.000+08:00

i'm at ain's house now.. just went shopping at centrepoint before heading down to taka..
bought a pull-up bar for raymond.. hope it can fit the doorway for him to practice, for his BAC selections.. good luck to you, dear.. and hope you'll like it.. take it as a gift, from me to you, for our 11th month anniversary.. i love you..
anyway.. we were at centrepoint, and ain was craving for fish a& co.. she's rich.. what to do.. haha.. she treated me.. but i only ate fries and had a glass of iced tea.. you know what peepz.. she was telling the orders to the waitress.. 'can we have a seafood platter for one, a glass of iced tea, a can of ginger ale, and also a side order of fries..' so, when the order came, it was a seafood platter, and a side order of rice.. fries became rice.. haha.. so we changed the order.. it was so much, and we were so full after that.. guess we don't need to eat dinner..
headed down to taka and it was raining.. bought wrapping paper for the pull-up bar, and i paid extra $2 for wrapping service.. and the thing is, when we boarded the bus, i was thinking if the lady took out the price tag.. i opened up the present, and true enough, she didn't.. not very good service afterall.. haha..
going to meet raymond later.. few more days for him before he leave his 'heaven'-nee soon camp, and go back to 'hell'-pasir ris camp.. haha.. good luck to you..

i want more outings..

2006-05-07T21:20:00.000+08:00

was supposed to go zoo last sunday, but someone couldn't make it.. so, raymond and i ended up playing pool, then went to his place.. met his friend for dinner before heading to his place.. haiz.. just another ordinary day.. actually was so excited that i'm going to the zoo cause it's been ages, but.. well, there's always next time.. hope it comes soon.. getting ready to go east coast my 'aprillia' & his 'vespa'
nothing much happened last week.. went to east coast yesterday with raymond.. cycled for awhile before heading to PS.. haven't been cycling for ages and i was really tired after awhile.. gosh.. so weak..
ain.. don't be angry after reading this.. lucky i went yesterday.. cause i need to train first before giving you a lift.. haha.. i hope i became taller after that time cause i don't wish to have difficulties handling the bike.. haha..
today, i watched MI-3 at marina.. it was a great movie.. you guys should watch it too.. been going to the arcade.. but everytime i play something with raymond, he'll always win me.. so irritating.. guess i must go everyday to brush up my skills.. haha.. as if my family print money.. oh well.. take a free ride from marina to CK Tang
it's sunday again.. time flies.. raymond has to book in again.. so fast.. hmmm.. it's only been 4months he'd served NS.. still a long way to go.. just hope time will will pass faster so that he doesn't need to book in..
i need a job badly!!!

2006-04-29T14:40:00.000+08:00

wow.. it's been ages since i blogged.. didn't have time to do so, not because i was busy going out and stuff, but just i had been staying at home all along and there isn't any computers..
well.. i went for the 'A' division matches last friday and last tuesday.. MI won one match against IJC(58-18) and lost another against TJC(56-16).. hmmm.. albeit being happy that they won one match, i kept wondering what was wrong with the team last year which we didn't even get close to having a draw..
was it because the team was lousy or was it this team is better?
till now, i still have yet to come to a conclusion.. naz was telling me that maybe because last year, shah'naz was feeling inferior as there were more seniors, and thus she can't perform.. not only that, i realised that the team this year is able to communicate better, be it on court or outside court..
there's a mixed feelings inside me.. as a captain last year, it made me think of my capabilities of bringing everyone together as a team.. did i do a good job?
netball is all about team game.. if there is anyone who feels that they don't belong to the team, it is hard for the team to shine.. well.. that's what i think.. people might not agree, but i don't care.. it's just how i feels.. the last game for the team is on 02/05/06, against RJC.. don't be frightened by the name, cause MI might have a chance to win them.. all the best, gals..
went back to school on wednesday to play netball.. gosh.. it's been ages since i exercised.. it was really tiring for me..
coach put me as GA.. haha.. and, i put in quite a few goals.. told her not to put me in that position already.. see.. now people know about my hidden talent.. haha..
yesterday, i met jo and kum at toa payoh stadium cause they were having heats.. javelin.. hmmm.. don't be upset, k? i'm sure you can do better if you were given another chance.. after which, we went pastamania, then swensen's for dessert.. those times spent were really wonderful.. it's been a long time since we went out.. and i truly enjoyed myself.. thanks alot gals..
and, jo, hope you like the little something.. it's nothing, but just a little message i'd like to convey to you..
right now, raymond is playing winning eleven.. hmmm.. hope my mood does not sway again.. no matter what, just know that i love you..
i'm looking forward to tomorrow's outing.. hope all will turn out fine!!!

it's my life!!

2006-04-21T01:02:00.000+08:00

am i a cry baby? i think i am.. crying over the slightest thing!! it sucks!!! nothing is going the right way for me.. why? why? why?!
just finished talking to raymond, and things didn't end off well.. i started the topic on this guy who didn't do well for his 'A' levels, went to poly and scored excellent results, then continued to study at Stanley University(or something).. it was my mum whom passed me the newspaper to read, and after that, she asked me if i can go to polytecnic to study for 'A' levels.. i just kept quiet.. then, raymond asked me why not consider it since they offer 2-year studies.. and what i told him was, isn't it for people who got full 'A' level certificate? but he said he wasn't sure, and suddenly, he remembered that i'm taking the diploma..
what hurts me wasn't about him forgetting i'm taking the diploma, but rather the fact that i didn't have a full certificate.. but, he has to say, 'don't vent my anger for my mum on him..' dear, i'm not.. it's just.. never mind, you wouldn't understand..
although it has been.. erm.. about 2months i've gotten the results, i still can't get over the fact..
whenever i think of it, tears just roll down my cheeks.. it sucks!! it really does.. ever since that day, i guess my life changed.. i don't know how it changes, but it just seems different..
more sad than usual, more moody than usual, more sensitive than usual, sleeping more late than usual..

i chatted with dipti for awhile just now and she started kind of nagging at me.. but gal, if you are in my shoes, sorry, but i don't know how you'll take it.. you ain't me, so it seems easy for you to say.. but, it's not so easy to do it..

few days ago, it was in the morning and i was sitting in the living room doing sudoku when my grandma suddenly asked, 'you are not retaking your 'A's?' i said no and told her that i'm only taking the diploma.. so, she said, 'then in the past, might as well don't take, just take the diploma.. now waste $400+ just for lessons once a week? if you had continued working, you'd have earned thousands over dollars..'
well, people who know me, you'd know how i'd felt after hearing this..
then, when evening came, i was in my room looking at my secondary school's magazine when my mum came back from work.. she asked, 'why? miss school ah?' i told her i've got nothing to do, so i'm just taking a look.. then, she said, 'you shouldn't have taken the diploma, then the school will surely let you retake your 'A' levels..'
yup.. 2blows in a day.. i don't need people to keep reminding me of my failure!! once or twice is enough.. but, 5, 10, 100 times?! please!! give me a break!!!
i can remind myself, i don't need people to constantly rub salt into my wound, alright!!!
forget about it.. things just wouldn't get any better..

ain, hope you are feeling better now.. not that i don't want to go to your place and visit you, but it's just too far for me.. i'm sorry.. you take good care, ya? miss ya, babe.. can't wait for you to stop your work.. haha..

hmmm.. actually i've always wanted to have my own room, so that i can decorate it myself.. i've thought of moving in to stay with my mum, but the thought of mum nagging at me more, just puts me off the idea.. furthermore, if i move in, it means that i need to buy furniture, and it'll surely cost a bomb for my mum man.. haiz.. i don't know what to do.. even if i want, i just don't know how to tell my mum? wierd? i know.. but.. when can i have my own room? i've so many ideas of decorating it.. damn...

why???

2006-04-11T03:10:00.000+08:00

i'm not asleep, as usual.. so, it's not surprising that i'm blogging at this time.. 0227.. hmmm.. actually i've nothing much to blog.. don't know what to write.. i'm just bored..
chatted with my secondary soulmate just now.. khin.. she's currently in south africa.. i miss ya babe.. memories of us spending times together just flashed back.. how i wish you are here, right now.. to face things together, to have each other to solve everything together.. not to do everything alone.. well.. i know you wish to be here too.. but things ain't always going our ways.. haiz..
come to think of it.. raymond always say that i've loads of friends.. but the truth is that i doubt so.. whenever i try to find someone to talk to, i can't find anyone.. whenever i try to find someone to go out with, there ain't a single soul.. is that the reason why since young, i've been keeping everything to myself, afraid to tell anyone anything? even now when raymond always ask me to tell him things and not to keep to myself, i find it hard to express myself? it's just so hard to say things out from my mouth.. i always like to use sms to express my thoughts, my feelings.. it ended up that 1000 free smses ain't enough for me every month, and i've to exceed it.. what can i do to open up myself? i tried but it seems to be hard.. i can't talk about serious things with people face-to-face.. gosh.. it sucks...
by the way.. it's the 11th of the month again.. and.. it's my 10th month anniversary.. hmmmm.. but it's not time yet, cause raymond asked me to be his girlfriend at 11:11pm.. why? cause my favourite number's 11.. haha.. but.. he likes 10.. so it's a special day too.. although we can't spend time together on this date, dear, but when you get to read this, i just want to tell you that thanks for everything you've done for me.. i really appreciate you as my boyfriend.. i love you to bits.. muackzzz... hope that everyday will become better.. you are sleeping soundly now, i guess.. don't worry about me, ya? i'll go and sleep now, so don't nag at me, okay? =) loves~

LoNg day...

2006-04-09T03:20:00.000+08:00

sleepless nights for me again.. haiz.. i really don't know why.. guess i must go and buy sleeping pills.. have the whole bottle, and i don't have to worry about not sleeping, cuse i'll be sleeping forever.. lol..
hmmm.. went to school for my diploma exam today.. it sucks.. was so damn difficult.. i think i'm going to get a 'D' or an 'E'.. sucks man.. but, what's done cannotbe undone.. it just sucks.. never mind..
anyways, when i went to school today, i saw the notice board.. it has the lists for the award winners for Institute Day.. and guess what? no, no.. my name's not there.. although i wish.. remember i swore to myself that i'll work hard so that i can go up the stage to receive award.. to make my mum proud.. but.. reality sucks.. i didn't even get a full certificate.. haiz.. well.. enough of that.. the name on the board is raymond.. top student for management of business.. he's smart.. i'm jealous.. yes, true enough, i'm proud of him.. having my boyfriend to go up to stage to receive prize, witnessed by everyone from MI.. but.. i feel inferior..he's so much smarter than me.. i know this sounds crazy, but it's the truth.. i can't help but feel this way.. i feel useless.. i don't know.. *sigh*
enough of sad stuffs.. raymond picked me up from school today.. we went to takashimaya.. walked past levi's and they were having renovation sale.. we went in and we saw jeans which only cost $15!! yes, you didn't see wrongly.. there's no more zeros behind.. only $15!! so, he bought it.. i wanted to buy. but i'm broke.. you guys will ask, why never ask him to buy, right? well, i don't want.. although he's my boyfriend, i don't like using his money unless it's really necessary.. these jeans are just 'wants'.. i can do without them.. well, after that, we went seoul garden.. wanted to have lunch buffet, but we decided to have dinner buffet.. so, in the meantime, we went cineleisure to watch ice age 2.. it's not bad.. funny.. at seoul garden, we ate quite a bit.. although we weren't full, we couldn't continue.. why? because we were getting sick of the same food.. haha.. we decided to have dessert.. i made a bowl of ice kachang for him.. guess i added too much ingredients inside, he ended up eating few spoonfuls only.. *sob* then we had my favourite.. ICE-CREAM!!! lol.. we had to play some games and loser had to eat one spoonful.. haha.. i ate till i couldn't stop.. even if i didn't lose.. guess the table beside us must be thinking we are gluttons.. haha.. after dinner, we had a stroll to dhobby ghaut(i can never get the spelling right) for the arcade.. we were playing daytona and these three kids had to come and disturb us by joining us in the game twice.. was kind of irritated by them cause they kept staring at us when we walked past them.. oh well.. kids nowadays.. haha.. right now, raymond's sleeping at his grandma's place at hougang, after watching soccer.. i just don't understand guys, even some gals.. they just love soccer so much, and i mean alot.. haiz.. and now, i'm at my aunt's place.. guesswhat, people.. it's also at hougang.. haha.. anyways, guess i better try to sleep.. my panda eyes are back to find me.. gosh.....

lost?

2006-04-07T03:38:00.000+08:00

the time is now 0251 and i still can't sleep.. every night has been like this for me, don't know since when.. i've been having sleepless nights, and even after i sleep, i'll wake up few times in the middle of the night.. i don't know why..
just chatted with dipti and she really made me think of things more thoroughly.. thanks alot, sweets.. i really needed that.. you really made me feel better.. well.. we were talking about my previous entry.. talked about raymond.. how much he loves me.. hmmmm.. i guess what she said is really true..
i can't help but always feel sad.. i don't know.. she told me not to brood over the sad things but always think of those happy moments i spent with him.. she said that he might not be good with words, and thus show his love towards me through different means.. but, no doubt, sometimes i'll feel as though he doesn't care about me if he doesn't show it to me.. i know i'm wierd.. i can't help it..
sometimes when i'm with raymond, i just feel insecure.. i don't know why.. it's like i want total control over him.. but, i know he wants freedom.. come to think of it, he has changed quite alot for me.. from someone who always stay home to be a good boy, to someone who always spend time out with me.. gosh.. i think you are influenced by me.. will your mum blame me? lol.. i hope not.. so, why am i still not contented? are my expectations too high? maybe.. just yesterday, i mean the day before, he booked out of camp and came to surprise me at my house, with a pair of adidas beach slippers.. i was really shocked to see him there, cause i didn't know he could book out.. he only came to see me for about an hour, and he had to book in.. sweet? i know he is.. even my aunt was jealous.. lol.. i'm really touched, dear.. thank you..
sweetie, can you please tell me what else can i do, other than showing you my smiles, to make you happy? not only do you want me to be happy.. i want you to be happy as well.. have i love you enough? did i do things which made you feel loved? please tell me.. so that i can change.. i love you..

depression??

2006-04-07T00:45:00.000+08:00

i did something wrong to raymond.. it's something stupid, something childish.. i don't know why i did that but i did it..i lied to him.. i was given a chance to turn things back, but i didn't.. instead, i made things worse.. the good thing is.. he didn't blame me at all.. but, that's not the point.. i blame myself.. for having to do all that.. in the end, it's me who's feeling miserable..
i don't know when it started, but i've been feeling miserable.. i used to be a happy-go-lucky girl.. always so cheerful, having a smile which brightens up anyone's day.. well, that's what some people told me.. i was such a hardworking gal.. still remember when i was in sec 1, someone actually made me as her motivator.. why? because she said i was so hardworking that i paid attention during every lesson, and she felt threatened.. can you believe it? well, if you don't, i'm not surprised, cause i didn't believe it either.. but, soon after, things changed.. slowly, i wasn't how i used to be.. studies flunk, friends flunk, family flunk.. everything flunk.. just because of one stupid reason.. someone who doesn't need anyone to worry about, changed to someone who needs everyone to worry about.. what a dramatic change.. welll, things are different now, but still, i don't know if that's the reason which leads to how i'm feeling all these times..
i've a serious doubt if i'm suffering from depression.. i came across this magazine yesterday and it talks about depression.. thera are two types of depression-major and minor.. major depression can lasts for few weeks, up to months.. while minor depression, also known as dy....(i forgot how it's spelt), can lasts for few months, up to years.. i'm wondering if i'm suffering from minor depression, cause the symptoms are quite similar to what i'm experiencing right now..
i know i've been unfair to raymond.. i seem to be always angry with him, over the slightest thing that he did.. always upset with him.. getting jealous, even over a guy.. but.. i can't control.. things just happened so fast.. my mood just changed within a second, without me realising it.. when i realise, its too late.. i really don't know what to do.. sometimes, i just feel that the both of us are so different.. the way we look at things, our character.. it seems to clash.. maybe that's why we are always having disagreements? i don't know.. but, opposite attracts? still, i know that it's wrong of me to always throw my temper at him.. thanks, dear.. for always being able to tolerate my nonsense.. i know you always love to see my smile.. cause nothing beats that.. i promise you that i'll try my best to change, ya? i'll be the amanda that you once see, okay? loves~
and not forgetting, jo.. thanks alot for listening to me that night.. really appreciate it.. erm.. i know you want me to write about you.. haha.. so, just a little something something for you, hope it somehow brightens your day.. =)

boo..

2006-03-29T00:06:00.000+08:00

i'm at my aunt's house now.. and guess what, people.. i just bought a new handphone.. =) N6111.. been eyeing on this phone for a long time, finally i get to buy it.. yay!! charging right now, so haven't really use it.. can't wait to use it tomorrow!!
things are getting better for me and one of my girlfriends(the one i blogged about previously).. hope that it will become better, and to how we used to be.. i'm sure we will..
ain, thanks for your concern.. you know i wouldn't say.. but that time when we talked, it was really nice.. made me think of school life.. how we used to gossip about people, me calling 'bitches' to those whom i don't like.. haha.. it was really memorable.. thank you..
it's going to be book-out for raymond again.. that time i cooked for him.. well, considering it's my first attempt, it was not bad.. lol.. i cooked ham, bacon, sausages, fries, eggs, soup.. of course he helped me abit.. but still.. i'm proud of myself.. haha..dear.. it's your turn to cook for me.. so, make it soon.. lol..

life...

2006-03-25T16:17:00.000+08:00

i'm at kaiwei's house now.. just had a swim with him and raymond.. now, they are playing winning eleven.. haiz.. just don't get guys.. why are they so engrossed in playing games.. but, oh well, this is guys.. haha.. since they are in NS, guess this is the time when they can enjoy, so just got to bear with it.. haha..
later will be going to raymond's house, to cook for him.. yes, you guys didn't read wrongly, COOK for him.. gosh. amanda is going to the kitchen to COOK, when i don't even know how.. but i have to, cause i lost a bet to him.. haiz...
it's been awhile since i blog about my life.. things just haven't been really right for me.. why? i also don't know..
life after studting in MI is really bad.. lost contact with most of my friends.. even if we meet, there seems to be communication breakdown cause we don't really know what to say.. so much so as technology is so advanced where it's just a phone call away to ask about your friends, it just seems difficult to do so, or they just wouldn't reply..
life without netball is so sad.. it seems that my life is incomplete.. no trainings, nothing to do.. and i'm growing.. growing horizontally.. gosh.. my stamina's gone as well.. it's really bad.. i miss netball..miss my coach, my teachers-in-charge, my bunch of crazy netballers..
my exam for my 2nd module in diploma is on 8th of march.. hope i'll study hard and score well.. i must!!
hmmm.. i wonder if i've lost a friend whom i've been really close to.. she's been a great friend, who's always there for me when i needed her, always willing to lend a listening ear even if she's bothered by her own stuff.. but i don't know why things seem to change.. no more messages.. i'm scared to message her.. i don't know if she's angry with me.. i'm afraid if we message, we'll end up quarrelling again.. i don't know.. i miss her, really do.. it's her 'A' levels this year.. i really hope that she'll study really hard, do well and go to university.. make her family proud.. i know she can do it.. you guys might or might not know who i'm talking about.. but, if you are reading this and you know who you are, girl, i'm sorry and i do miss you.

Sux!!!

2006-03-18T15:49:00.000+08:00

I'm such a failure..
Failure to do anything..
Failure to pass my exams..
Failure to make my mum happy..
Failure to make my boyfriend happy..
Failure to make my friends happy..
Failure..
What a failure!!!

I'm back!!!

2006-02-16T14:15:00.000+08:00

Hello.. Finally i'm back to write more.. Been busy with stuffs, and furthermore, my computer at home.. Don't know what's wrong but everytime i try to blog, i can't.. Right now, i'm at my aunt's place.. So i'm taking this chance to blog what you guys have missed...
First of all, i want to wish everyone a belated 'Happy Valentine's Day'!! Hope you guys had a wonderful time with your loved ones.. Valentine's day doesn't mean you have to spend time with your boyfriends/girlfriends.. It can be with your family and friends as well..
To Raymond, though you can't spend our first valentine's day with me, i don't blame you.. Hope you are doing fine in the fieldcamp.. Take good care of yourself ya.. i miss you!!
To Asliana, gosh.. I actually spent this valentine's day with you.. Haha.. It's been long since we went out.. You've been busy working, so, when you are free, give me a call and we'ii go out ya? Take care girl..
To Joanne, you've always been there for me when i needed someone.. You never fail to give me a helping hand when i needed someone.. Thanks alot girl.. Though i don't say it out, i really appreciate you.. I know that you know it.. So, when you need someone to lean on, please come to me can? No matter how busy i am or whatever, i hope to be there for you as well..
To Ain, you are still my lesbian partner, alright? I haven't forget you and i wouldn't.. Don't think that Raymond makes me forget everything else, ya.. I miss you girl.. Call me when you are free and we'll go out.. You still owe me a thosai..
To Dipti, i still have your calculator.. Let me know when you free and i'll give it back to you, okay? I miss having you at my place when you always have Hindi lessons.. Let's go out and eat again!!
To everyone from 03C1, i miss you guys!! When are we going to have class outing again? I can't wait to go out with you guys!!!
To Nimz, when are you going to plan an outing again?(Even though we always never go according to the plan..) Let's go out again.. I want to hear all of your gossips!!!
To Angela, have you started your Accounts thing? Are you still working? When are we going out again? Sorry i didn't go for the sentosa outing.. Wonder if you guys went in the end.. But let's plan another!!!
To Mary, i don't know why, but i miss your laughter.. Haha.. Thanks alot for giving me your history notes.. Actually it's not for me, my friend needed them.. Hope it'll help him and make him pass..
To Harpreet, miss your craziness.. We can always go crazy with you around.. Haha.. Miss you babe..
To Khin, okay, i know you are going to complain because i didn't write you guys first, but don't you know, 'Save the Best for Last'!! How have you been? I miss you girl.. Didn't receive any e-mail message from you ever since the new year mail.. Hope all are fine and i can't wait for you to come back again!!
Hmmm.. Still have lots of people to write but time is running out, i'll just cut it short, ya? To everyone from GESS, miss you guys loads!!!
Well, these days i've been staying home.. Only on valentine's day, i went back Pan Pacific to work cause they needed people.. It was okay.. Made me miss Raymond alot.. Cause all the couples were so loving, the atmosphere was very romantic, saw many bouquets of flowers and gifts.. Haiz.. I miss you, dear..
Alright, i got to go.. Will update soon.. Take care people.. And, ya.. 'A' level results will be out soon, all the best!! I'm scared......

... ...

2006-02-06T19:04:00.000+08:00

glad that i've time to update my blog.. currently i don't know how to make it nice, so bear with it first, ya? but, i don't think many people know about this blog.. lol.. so it makes no difference..
well.. saturday was a truly wonderful night spent with raymond.. i brought him to sky-dining.. it's so cool.. you guys should do for your boyfriends/girlfriends.. the atmosphere was really great.. romantic.. but they should do something to the music..haha.. then i brought him to watch movie.. Fun With Dick and Jane.. it's funny, not that bad.. gave him jigsaw puzzle which i did.. 1000pieces, which i took less than a week.. cool huh.. lol.. it's a picture of mickey and minnie(don't ask me why), which can glow in the dark.. time passed real fast and we went home after that.. sad but well, life's like that..
i really hope that he'd enjoyed himself and it'll be something that he'll remember for a long time..it's just something small from me to mark his 21st birthday on 10th of february, our 8th month anniversary on 11th of february, and valentine's day on 14th of february.. you might think i'm 'cheepo' or whatever.. but i don't care.. cause i might not be able to celebrate with him next week since hes going to field camp.. haiz.. 2weeks wouldn't be able to hear from him or see him.. i'm going to miss him.. but hope that these days will be a test for us..
i remember blogging about the attitude i had towards him which i can't even stand myself.. after that night i spent with him and how we had sort of sorted things out, i believe that i'll treat him better.. hope the 2weeks i wouldnt be able to contact him, be a challenge where i can treasure him more..
i'm broke, real broke!! i want to work, but i can't work.. hope things will turn better so i can work and have money to spend.. i miss school!!!

cool..

2006-02-02T14:10:00.000+08:00

i've started another blog.. maybe i'm trying to see which blog is nicer.. haha.. so, it's either i'll update this blog or my friendster's blog..
hmmm.. raymond booked in yesterday.. if you guys read my blog in friendster, you'll understand what i'm going to write.. now that he's in camp, i realise that i really love him alot.. why the hell did i act differently when he's around? i really don't know.. i miss him.. i told myself that i must treat him nicely cause he's been really nice to me.. but i don't know why i didn't.. i really hope that when he book out this saturday, i'll be able to be nice to him.. i'm going to celebrate his birthday cause he might not book out next week.. did some planning but i wonder if things will turn out my way.. i really hope that he can have an unforgettable evening with me.. it's his 21st birthday, really hope that he'll enjoy.. miss you dear..
well, i'm no longer working at pan pacific hotel.. haven't really resign but i'm trying to find another job.. i need the income cause i've been spending alot.. i want to continue working there for the time being but raymond seems to be unhappy about me working there.. though he supports whatever decision that i make.. i don't know if i should work.. haizz...
well.. i'm going to start my 2nd module for my diploma course this saturday.. so fast huh.. really hope that i can score well.. promised raymond that i'll work hard.. told my mum, before i take this diploma that i have interest in it.. so, i'm not going to let them down.. i'll do my best!!